EP 93: Take Up Space: My 43rd Birthday Reset + Carnival Vibes!

This week’s episode is all about confidence, growth, and taking up space unapologetically.

I just turned 43 (happy birthday to me 🎉), and with Carnival vibes still buzzing, I’m sharing what this new chapter means for me — from reflecting on confidence, rejection, and fear of success, to resetting for September and the final quarter of the year.

✨ In this episode you’ll hear:
- Why Confidence Matters More Than Body Type at Carnival (and in Life)
- The truth about fear of rejection & fear of success
- My Chapter 43 reset — how I’m starting fresh and showing up bold
- Birthday reflections, Carnival highlights + why taking up space matters
- The mindset shifts I’m making to step into new opportunities as a presenter, speaker, and creator

Whether you’re stepping into your own next chapter or just need a reminder to stop shrinking, this episode will give you the energy to take up space and own your lane.

💛 Don’t forget to subscribe — more podcasts, vlogs, and behind-the-scenes content are coming your way. Let’s grow together.
👉 Drop a comment: What’s one way YOU plan to take up space this month?Follow me @isitdanidawks

Chapters

• 0:00 Birthday Reflections at 43
• 4:21 Taking Up Space Without Apology
• 10:23 Carnival Weekend Celebration
• 16:31 Facing Fear of Rejection
• 21:08 New Month, Fresh Start
• 23:13 Upcoming Projects and Opportunities
• 27:38 Invitation to Collaborate

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Honestly, I actually might have to record from home more often, because the light is lighting. I'm liking this kind of relaxed energy. To be honest, the only reason I'm recording from home is because it is Sunday morning. Obviously, the podcast always comes out on a Sunday and I'm here, I have my tripod, I have all the gear, so let's just get it cracking. I've got so much to talk about today. I've got so much to talk about today. So it was my birthday this week. On Wednesday, the 27th of August, I turned 43. This is chapter 43. And I have called this chapter Take Up Spaces. Chapter 43 is called Take Up Spaces and if you have been here for a while and you've been listening to the podcast and even if you've just been following me on social media, I talk about these things a lot that you know no one cares as much as you think they do.

Speaker 1: 0:56

Just do what it is you want to do, stop caring. Turn 40, it was the year of no fucks given. Like, just do what you want. And as much as I talk about that a lot, even preach about it, there are times when we go back. So every day is a reminder to just do what it is that you want to do every year is a reminder. We're only getting older and we are also as only as old as we feel. So by me saying we're only getting old is not me saying you're getting old. I feel younger than I've ever felt maybe not ever, but you know. But I feel so young within my spirit, within my mental, within my soul. My body looks good, so I'm not. I'm not like feeling like I'm old in my brain, but I'm just at this point of life where I'm just going to do what it is that I want to do and I'm going to take up space and I'm going to stop apologizing for the fact that I'm taking up space and I'm going to stop apologizing for the fact that I want what I want, because I don't want all these things just for myself. I want them for my children, I want them for people that I other people that I love. I want them for my community. I want them because I want to be able to show other people and share my knowledge. So I'm not going to scrimp on what it is that I want, because it doesn't just benefit me. And with that said, let's do our intro. Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the so Flippin' Extra, extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore and connect and be so flippin extra, why, I hear you ask. Well, babes, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado sorry, may have something in me, hi without further ado, let's get into this episode, let's stop apologizing for taking up space and let's do the dancing and let's talk about my birthday before I continue.

Speaker 1: 2:50

This podcast is now on YouTube and which is why I'm showing up online more. I'm doing the videos and stuff. So, with that said, I have to say make sure you go follow and make sure you go subscribe. Subscribe to my youtube channel. I've had it for years and there's not only um podcast content on there. There's actually other content. There's shorts on there, there's old videos, probably from lockdown, like some vlogs from me and the family, if you want to. You know, just see some of the antics that we've gotten up to. A lot of you have grown with my children and yeah, but I, my aim, is to definitely do more vlogs, because for years it's been something that I've wanted to do and the fear of taking out the phone in public or taking out the camera and just not, just not being prepared. So we'll be doing a lot more vlogs and, yeah, just a lot of my workshops I'll be putting on there, so there's more content coming. So definitely subscribe, follow and comment. Comment. The comments really help the algorithm know that people are interested, but it also I don't know it also makes me feel good to see someone take time out to comment on a video that I've done. So definitely go do that, guys.

Speaker 1: 4:11

But what I wanted to talk about first was I'm going to talk about Carnival first, because it was Carnival weekend on last week Sunday, sunday, monday and that was the reason that I didn't do an episode. Yeah, so that was the reason that I didn't do an episode last week, because your base was busy at carnival and let me tell you this best carnival ever, for so many reasons. One of those reasons was because one of my best friends came with me and it was her first time doing Dutty. Well, it was both of our first times doing Dutty Mass on a Sunday, but it was her first time doing costume in general, like or doing a band in general, following a float. And I've been trying to get these dots to follow a float for years and they're like nah, nah, nah. And so I finally got one of them to come on the float with me and she had the best time. She's like best, best, best, best, to the point where she's now come back and she said to our friendship group I'm doing, I'm doingshirt next year, absolutely doing a T-shirt next year. So that was a vibe. So many other people this year that kind of passed with me had experience of just the band life, even if they weren't in the band. They was like, oh my God, best carnival ever. It always helps when the weather's paying at carnival, so we love that for us as well. And then obviously, carnival so we love that for us as well. And then, obviously, carnival Monday.

Speaker 1: 5:26

I'm in costume. Just amazing costumes, always amazing. I feel sexy, I feel beautiful. People like to take pictures. I love people to take pictures, I love to pose and you know if you're with the right band, the music's good. You end up meeting new friends on the band and it was just great again. The music was wicked, the weather was amazing. Do you know what? It was so hot and sunny. I've got I've got tan lines on my legs. I got, I got tan lines on my legs as well. I love a tan line. I love a tan line. So I was like, I was like, oh well, no, I didn't even see it till the next day. But I always say to people your carnival and my carnival it's two different things. If you go carnival and you walk around and you're trying to get through crowds and the roads are blocked off and it's oh oh oh, your carnival and my carnival are two different things and I've done both sides.

Speaker 1: 6:28

I've done streetwalker carnival and reveler carnival for the majority of my, you know, adult life and I loved it. I absolutely loved it, loved the crowds, loved the atmosphere, loved the energy. I've been to carnival when it has been piercing down with rain and had some of my best times just because I love the culture, um, so I love the carnival, like the soca music, but I also do love, you know, the sound systems and the vibes. I love seeing people that I haven't seen in years, all of that stuff. But carnival on a band absolutely amazing. The first year I done it was in 2019, and I had the best time ever.

Speaker 1: 7:13

And after that time I finished Carnival and I said to my friends on a Monday, I'm going in costume Sunday, I'll go on the roads with you lot. We'll walk about, get that same experience. But on a Monday I'm going with a band, I'm putting on costume, I'm getting dressed up, I'm immersing myself in that carnival culture. And now I've got to the point of do you know what? Both days I'm going on a float, I'm going to do t-shirt one day and I'm doing float another day and I absolutely loved it.

Speaker 1: 7:46

And I urge anyone, anyone like. There's so many people that I know have been interested in wanting to do band life and wanting to be on a float for carnival and they always say, oh, but I can't wear one of those costumes. Like, I'm not confident, get yourself a flipping t-shirt, just get a t-shirt and be in the crowd. Your t-shirt don't have to be a t-shirt. I'm the master of cycler, I can cut that up. I cut up so many t-shirts this year for people and they would. Just they stood out and were unique in their band. A lot of people cut up and hack up their own t-shirts. It is whatever you want it to be Like. Don't overthink it. Just have fun and stop overthinking those things.

Speaker 1: 8:22

There are women that don't have the smallest bodies, but it's the confidence. Confidence carries everything. You ain't looking, they're not looking at you trust and believe they're not looking at you, thinking, oh my god, she looks a mess. But even if they were, so what? Like? There is definitely a probably a lot of people that would be like why is she like, look at like she's so skimpy, why is that arse all out? Because it's a good one and because I enjoy it and I look good and that's what I want to do and that's what I'm confident to do. Like my first carnival, I never had a thong costume and it was when I done launch and the designer put me in a phone and I was like it ain't that bad. It ain't that bad, it just is what it is.

Speaker 1: 9:11

And because everyone's doing it and we're not full of fashion, but because everyone's doing it, you don't, you're not, you're not special, like and I say that in the nicest way possible you're not special. Everyone, everyone's doing it. The big girls, the skinny girls, the mid girls, like the tall girls, the short girls, the guys, the guys with the muscles, the guys with no muscle they're all doing it, babes, and all they want is to just feel good, enjoy their day, look good, have fun, and if that's what your goal is, definitely definitely jump on Carnival Band. So yeah, and that's how I celebrate my birthday. So when my birthday actually comes, whether it's if it's on Carnival, perfect, but if it's, you know, on the days before or after, that's where I'm celebrating my birthday. So I'll see you on or around, or I don't know. Maybe we'll you can take me out for dinner if you want. All around, or I don't know, maybe we'll you can take me out for dinner if you want. You know, sometimes I'll do. If it's a Saturday, um, or the web I know the weather's gonna be nice I might do like a little. Let's get together in the park and invite friends around, friends and family and all of that. So yeah, it just is what it is.

Speaker 1: 10:17

But speaking of my birthday, I am wearing my sparkly dress for a reason. I'm not just. I didn't just wake up and put this dress on to do a podcast. Honestly, I'm not that gal. I'm not that gal. I don't give a shit enough. But I thought it's my birthday and this is my birthday episode. So I'm going to put on something cute, see, something that makes me feel good, and this is one of my favorite dresses.

Speaker 1: 10:43

So that's what we've done, and talk about chapter like chapter 43, um, take up spaces. And why have I called it that? Well, because I had the pleasure of having a conversation with one of my I want to say one of my spiritual friends like. He is someone that always just takes time to hold space for me and really question me on what it is I'm doing, where I'm at, how I'm feeling, and we're very spiritually connected. And so on Monday sorry, on this Tuesday, the day before my birthday we was talking and he was talking about so how's business life going? And then I was just like.

Speaker 1: 11:34

I didn't even have a collar on, but it just felt like it was closing in around my neck and it got down to some nitty-gritty that the problem I have is it's like I'm scared to just be in people's faces. I'm scared to be like hello, I emailed you four times already. I'm back, and it's not even four times. Hello, I emailed you last week. Did you get my email? And I received those following up on my last email. Or did you get my last email and they don't bother me?

Speaker 1: 12:10

So why do I always think that my actions are going to bother someone else so much? And also, if they are, so what? Because if I'm doing it for my purpose goal mission why am I worried about what they think about me wanting to get more? I'm in the middle of something right now. So I said to him, because he said what is it that you're afraid of? Oh God, why do you have to ask me that?

Speaker 1: 12:54

And it's funny because even as you know a younger person, it was always there was a fear of, there was a fear of success, and I never understood it. And the fear of success came from. But if this pops off? So, for example, when I went through face, I used to make stuff. I used to make African print off the shoulder, tops and stuff and skirts and I thought, if I make it, how am I going to be able to do this on my own? Because it's a lot of work. So if there was a day where there was a lot of work and I had a lot of orders, I kind of was like I can't do this. I've got this and this and this to do. How do I do this as well?

Speaker 1: 13:39

And that was my small mindset, thinking that I'm always on my own. I've always got to do this on my own and as the years have gone on, I realized that I'll build a team. Like when that time comes, I'll build a team, but somewhere there's still that limiting belief of I'm on my own, like I'm always on my own and when you for me and if this resonates with anyone, when that feeling comes of I'm on my own, you have to think about those times where you weren't on your own, because there's definitely a time that you weren't on your own. There's proof that you can have support and there's proof that you can ask people for for help and there's proof of that you've asked someone for help and they've actually been able to help you, as long as there will also be proof of you asked someone and they didn't help you and they didn't do that and they didn't come through. But there's I'm sure there's going to be a time where someone did so. You that you know that your people want to help you. You know that they want to help you because there's proof that they've done it before and all you need is that little bit of proof to remind you that you're good and you're great and you're loved and people want to help you. And remember that and go with that, and that's that was my message to me like people do help you and they do want to help you. And the ones that don't it doesn't always mean that they it's because they don't want to. Sometimes they can't, and even if it is because they actually don't want to, that's cool. Let people do what it is they want to do. Let them be over there and do that. Your your thing. Ain't for everybody and that's fine. Remember, it's always fine.

Speaker 1: 15:26

And I think I've had a good few episodes on here where I've spoken about, you know, fear of rejection that's another thing I spoke about with you know, fear of rejection that's another thing I spoke about with my friend is that fear of rejection, fear of being rejected, fear of someone saying no, fear of someone me reaching out to a brand for a brand deal, because it's like I'm always waiting for the brands just to come and find me and me reaching out instead because I've got something that you want, I'm great at what I do and you don't even know who I am yet. So I'm going to introduce myself to you because I'm, I think I'm amazing and I want you to see how amazing I am. And then that fear, that fear of rejection, that fear of them in my brain, looking at the what I've sent them or looking at my proposal and being like we don't want her and just casting it off to the side. Did that even happen? No, I don't know, maybe it did, but I made it up in my head In my head. That's what they did. She's shit, we don't want her. So the fear of rejection meant that I didn't even send it in the first place. I wrote the whole proposal. I chat GPT did chat GPT gave me a peng, a peng proposal, a peng cover letter, and I didn't send it because the fear of rejection set in.

Speaker 1: 16:48

And the great thing with birthdays is I always see them as a new year, a new start, an opportunity to start afresh. And the great thing with my birthday is that it is at the end of August, which means that September to December is your last quarter to get all the bits in. And the great thing about this weekend is that, today being Saturday, sorry, sorry. Today being Sunday, the 31st of August, tomorrow is the 1st of September, an amazing opportunity to just have a proper reset. Today is your reset. Sunday, the 31st of August is your reset. Today.

Speaker 1: 17:39

Just do the clean up, clear out, declutter, tidy up, if you have time to do all these things. I am working a little bit later, I'm helping out, doing some content creating today, but I don't know, do your hair for the, for the new week or the new month? Just do, do, do the things. Do the things like. Let this be like a, just a day of preparing yourself for the new year, the new month with the new year for me, but the new month and the new last quarter, we go in and we start afresh and it's like we have an amnesia. Forget about all the things that you fought before, forget about.

Speaker 1: 18:30

I can't do it because I can't. I'm not good at this, I'm not good at that, I can't. I have a fear of rejection. So I can't send that email because they're going to oh, they're just going to look at it and throw it away. And oh, I can't get extra people on my podcast because they're going to say no and everyone's just going to be busy. So I'm just not even going to send it out and I want to be a presenter. But you know, there's these events happening, but I don't want to reach out to them because, like, I don't have enough followers and I don't have enough, I don't have a showreel and I don't have enough presenting gigs that I've done to send them out to. And I'm just inexperienced. Bitch what? No, you're not. You've been doing this all your life, just ain't got it documented, that's all. Let's forget the excuses.

Speaker 1: 19:21

Tomorrow we start afresh. Get rid of all the limiting beliefs and start telling yourself what it is that you're going to do and get that proof. Just get the proof. And the proof doesn't have to be physical. The proof doesn't have to be in video form. The proof just has to be that you know it. You know it. The proof, like ask for it. Oh, hey, I would like to be a speaker at your event. Oh, okay, have you got any experience? No, but this is what I speak on. This is my topic.

Speaker 1: 19:56

Take a chance. Sometimes they want to take a chance on someone new. They might want to take it. They might be prepared to take a chance. Show them what you like. We know shit. Let's stop hoarding our gifts. Stop hoarding what you know because you're scared that someone's not going to receive it.

Speaker 1: 20:13

Social media is your platform as well. Start using your platform, note to self. Start using your platform to speak on the things that mean a lot to you. There's your proof there. If someone comes to your platform, they can see exactly what it is you're capable of doing. Speak it. Stop waiting for the stage. This is your stage here. Instagram is your stage. Tiktok is your stage here. Instagram is your stage. Tiktok is your stage. Youtube is your stage and if you get them stages right, they actually pay. You are you all right? Come on, let's do it, let's do it. I'm gonna go into the highlight.

Speaker 1: 20:48

The highlight of my birthday week has got to be my picture on the truck. Again, because they used my picture last year and on Saturday night I got a picture of my picture on the truck and I had to look close. I was like that is a truck, isn't it okay? I don't want to get too excited, but I swear, but it's okay, it's on the back of the truck. Oh, my god, how exciting. So on Sunday my son's gone to Jube, so he's gone super early in the morning, and then he's called me mum. So he's gone super early in the morning and then he's called me mum, mum, your picture's on the back of the truck. You know, we saw your picture on the truck. I was like what he's like? Yeah, his friend's got pictures and I was like, ah, send me the pictures, loved it, love it. Why is it so exciting? Because my face is on the back of the truck.

Speaker 1: 21:42

I've got, like you know, visions of me being on billboards. I don't even know what I'm on billboards for. Like from young, I was like I want to be on a billboard. I don't know what I want to be on a billboard for. Maybe this is when I was wanting to do modelling, when I was younger and I haven't got there yet. But do you know how many people saw my face? Do you know how many people saw my face on the back of that truck? People that I don't even know, and they would have been like, wow, I mean, who cares what they thought? But wow, that's what a lovely picture, it's pretty girl. Millions of people saw my face and it just, it, just it just makes me feel good and it feels even better when it's the band that you're actually following. Um, yeah, it just, it feels really good, it feels like I'm I feel great, very grateful that they've used my picture.

Speaker 1: 22:35

I'm very grateful for Nadine anyway, for you know, asking me to model. I think it's three years, three years in a row. I modelled for her and I'm very grateful for her. I love her costume. She's absolutely amazing, amazing designer but amazing person as well. And I've enjoyed for the last two years jumping up with RDR. They're a great band. The people I've met in that band, within jumping with them, is absolutely amazing. So, yeah, I just feel really privileged to be part of that community and, yeah, so that's my highlight of my birthday.

Speaker 1: 23:10

So, what's coming up for September? Oh well, I say September, but really the end of the year. But I know I mentioned it a couple of weeks ago I have a fashion show coming up which I believe is the end of September. I really need to get the dates in. So by next week I'll have the actual date of the fashion show and give you guys more information of where it's going to be. If you need to get tickets, all of that stuff, I'll have information. But that is either the end of September or the beginning of October and I think I'm designing about between six to eight pieces for that. Some of them will be old pieces that I have and I've decided to call it denim eras. So, and I'm you know I'm not going to go into it really today. I will explain more on that next week when I have more information for you. But I'm really excited. I'm excited about it, but I'm also nervous because the ADHD be ADHD and I ain't I ain't started yet.

Speaker 1: 24:04

So, yeah, this week is I'm gonna have a have to focus myself on that and start pulling things and start sketching, because I'm not a sketcher. I don't sketch my designs, I just make whatever is in my brain. I just make it. I don't sketch it before I make it. I try to. So sometimes you'll see me do it, but it's forced to have to sketch it. It's more time I sketch when I'm showing a client what I'm making for them than if I'm just making something for myself or for a fashion show.

Speaker 1: 24:30

So I've got that coming up and I've also got Clean and Tidy coming up, but that's in October and that is on. I believe it's the 19th and 20th, but it's that weekend, so the Saturday and Sunday. So either the 18th and 19th or 19th and 20th of October where I will be presenting on the inspiration stage at the clean. It's not even the clean and tidy home show, it's the home life and you show. So I'm really looking forward to that. This is going to be my fourth year down there, my third year presenting, so super duper excited. That's my family blood, family blood, boom, love them guys.

Speaker 1: 25:09

And at the moment I don't have many events booked in for September. So if you guys want to book an event, you know where to find me holler at me, tell your company to holler at me. Children's events, weekend events, girls girls events, girly events um, you know, sip and sew, sip and create events. Uh, children's parties. I'm available for all of that. So definitely, holler at your girl. Uh, do you know what I've got?

Speaker 1: 25:41

One other thing I want to say, but I am aware that this is one of my longest episodes in a while, so I'm not gonna. I'm actually gonna allow that and I'm gonna save it for next week because it's really, it was a really nice quote that I heard. So make sure you come back next week if you want to hear this quote. I heard it and I was like, wow, that's powerful and I really want to share it with you guys today. But I'm not gonna. I actually, because I want you to come back, I need to start giving you a lot things to be like no, we've got to come back next week because she's gonna tell us that amazing quote that she heard. So make sure you come back to Bamba about. So I'm gonna save that one till next week, but it involves a Buddhist monk. You know them, buddhist monks quotes always banging it. So come back next week so you can hear what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1: 26:27

But the last thing I want to leave you with is that I really want to grow this platform. I really want to grow all my platforms. I really want to grow myself, because I've got a message and I'll come here every week, minus last week, but I come in more or less every week to share with you guys what I've been through and it resonates with you lot, what I've been through and it resonates with you lot. So that's why I say tell a friend to tell a friend in it, share it, share my content and help me grow, because if I grow, we all grow, and I am also looking for sponsors. So you might have a product, um, or something that you would like me to talk about, and I would love for people to be like hey, dan, would love you to talk about this. I don't know what that looks like right now, but we can sit down and talk about it and put it together and I don't know, you might have a drink and I just talk about your drink every week, or you might have a product. I talk about it, whether it's every week, once a month, whatever it looks like. But I would definitely love to start bringing in other people and other brands. So sponsorships, but also guests.

Speaker 1: 27:27

Um, one thing I've decided with this podcast is I'm not limited to I'm now not limited just to the laptop, which also means I have a camera, I have my tripod, I have my microphones. I've spent a lot of money on my gear and if you have somewhere that we can sit down and talk, I will be in the camera and the tripod and we will have our episode there. It could be in the cafe, it could be in your studio, it could be in your house, it could be in my studio, it could be we could get two chairs and and live up on the street. Do you know? I'm saying so, if you've got something you want to talk about and you would love to be on my podcast, definitely holler at your girl and let's make it happen, because also, I'm very much aware if I have guests on my show, I grow, but if you come on my show, you grow. So let's do this, let's collaborate, let's communicate and let's take up fucking space. Sis and thorn, I love you guys.

Speaker 1: 28:28

Peace out, eh, time down west side is the best side, do I believe that? Well, it was carnival weekend. Carnival weekend eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. So yeah, we're believing, we're believing this week. But even if that's not what I believe, what I do believe is that wherever I'm at, the vibe is at, and the vibe is here every week, every Sunday, sometimes missing one, but the vibe is where I'm at. I bring the vibe, I am the vibe. Be the vibe you want to feel, be the vibe you want to see, be the vibe you want to spread. Your vibe encourages other people's vibes. Sometimes your vibe can turn a whole negativity upside down and lift the whole room without you even saying anything. So be the vibe. I love you guys. Bye.