EP 92: Show Up As Your True Self (Even If They Don’t Get It Yet)

This week I’m talking about that moment we all have where you think: “They must not know who I am.”

But here’s the truth — it’s not for everyone else to know who you are straight away. It’s for you to show up, say it with your chest, and own your worth.

In this episode of Sew Flipping Extra, I’m sharing:
✨ Why waiting for validation keeps you playing small
✨ How to stop entertaining things that aren’t meant for you
✨ The power of showing up unapologetically as yourself
✨ Why compliments feel good but self-belief matters more
✨ And a reminder to protect your energy from anything draining your shine

This one’s for anyone who’s ever felt overlooked, underestimated, or undervalued. If you know who you are, it’s time to start acting like it.

🎧 Listen in, get your confidence topped up, and remember: showing up as your true self is the biggest flex.

Chapters

• 0:00 Tell People Who You Are
• 1:40 Carnival Weekend Preparations
• 5:04 The Power of Validation
• 7:40 Wanting vs Needing Compliments
• 10:08 Energizing vs Draining People
• 11:40 The Giraffe and Hippopotamus Metaphor

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

This week I found myself saying he must not know who I am. They must not know who I am Because if they knew who I was, they would be treating me a little bit different. And it was based on a package I was supposed to be receiving that someone was offering me and I had to sit and simmer with it for a minute because I thought and I had to sit and simmer with it for a minute because I thought it's actually not for everyone to know who you are, but it's for you to actually start telling people who the hell you are, because not everyone's going to know who you are. Off the rick, they're not going to know. You might walk into the room and in your mind you might be like I know who I am and you might feel confident and you might feel that you're doing your thing and you're explaining it, but not everyone's listening to what you're saying at the time. And it is for you to tell people who you are. If you, if someone, says, okay, I'm gonna do this thing for you, or you know xyz, and then it doesn't deliver, you can get upset, but you can actually also explain it. You can say, uh, okay, I thought it was going to be this, but sometimes we shy away from that. Why? Because we don't want to cause a scene. We don't want to be like, oh, I don't want to feel difficult, I don't want to be this, I don't want to be that. Come across as. I don't want to feel difficult, I don't want to be this, I don't want to come across as that type of person. But they should know who I am. If you know who you are, start telling people who you are, because they're not always going to see it. Start acting as who you are, as who you believe you are, and start showing up as who you believe you are and start expecting everyone to know it.

Speaker 1: 1:40

It's welcome to another episode of the so Flippin' Extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore and connect and be so flippin' extra why? I hear you ask. Well, babes, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado, let's get into this episode and continue, because I need to tell you guys who I am. I know some of you guys know, but I need to explain who I am. So I just want to explain a few things and I'm not doing the thing that I said.

Speaker 1: 2:09

I hate that when people didn't say I'm sorry for the messy background and sorry for this. I'm showing up unprepared, unpolished. I'm pretty, but I just I did just put on the makeup, so I know that's a lie. Um, someone pulled me up on the not pretty last week, but I didn't mean this pretty, I just meant the background not being pretty, but it is what it is, but there's a lot of noise. You might hear some noise in the background because I am at my studio, it's a Saturday, it's busy, someone is out there banging, the cars are bibbing because road rage is a rage. And yeah, oh, I must show you guys my hair though, because my hair is eating. Oh god, my hair is eating. So I'm literally quickly doing this episode and then I am off to, uh, carnival's Angels gig, and it is the weekend before Carnival.

Speaker 1: 2:57

Next weekend is Carnival weekend and I tell you guys, I asked the universe for more money. I told the universe I need more of this because I need the money, I want to do this. It wasn't even that I needed more money that I said to the universe, but I told the universe that I wanted to do more things, I wanted to go on holiday, I wanted a trip here. I wanted. It's not even a holiday I want. I just want a trip. I want to work, I want to be abroad for work and stuff like that. So the universe gave me work that is paid, is paying very well, and if I want to go on a trip, I can choose to spend my own money or someone can choose to spend their money on me, I don't know. So, yeah, I'm very grateful.

Speaker 1: 3:39

And you know what, sometimes, when it comes to carnival weekend, I'm always busy, because a lot of people want outfits made for carnival and they always come lastminutecom and that's not even the busyness that it is. I am working, so I have this job today, and then I'm working Thursday, friday, saturday, sunday. They're all night time jobs, like midnight till two or eleven till two. I think one of them is even till four in the morning, like one till four in the morning, and then obviously, the next day I'm actually at the carnival. So it's giving go easy this year. Take your time on Sunday at the during the day. So in the night time I'm working and I'm awake, and then in the morning, monday morning I'm working and I'm awake, and then in the morning, monday morning, I'm feeling good and I'm really excited. I celebrate my birthday at Carnival. I celebrate life at Carnival. I always have a good time.

Speaker 1: 4:31

I'm in costume on the Monday. So, like I said, we've got to take it easy. So, yeah, there's a few things I've got coming up this week which I'm really excited about. So, if the orders come in, it's going to be a techie one. I'm not sure what I can and can't do because baby girl's working. So, yeah, less custom orders this year. I mean, they're either going to get something unique and customised or they're going to get something from Sheen. I know what I'm wearing. Well, I kind of don't, but yeah.

Speaker 1: 5:02

So back to what I was talking about you need to show up and show people who you are, and what also helps with that one is your knowing and your telling, but also being around people who validate who you are and tell you who you are. It is so lovely to be around friends and family, who who speak for you, who mention your name in rooms that you didn't even know they were in, and then someone saying oh my God, my friend told me. Oh my God, when someone tells me that they're like, are you so-and-so? Oh, my friend followed you. That's the person you were telling me about it makes me emotional. I could cry. But to be recommended from someone because they speak highly of you feels so good. I always feel like it's nicer when someone else speaks up for you, but we do need to learn to do it for ourselves.

Speaker 1: 5:54

So this week I was riding. I was coming from the gym, I was riding through the park and I saw a lady called Tasha and I know she's listening because she told me she listens every week. And she told she told me that my podcast is one of her favorite podcasts and it's just the right time. Basically she was saying you don't chat too much, it's not too long. And I always wondered, like, should I be longer? You know, do people not want to listen to my podcast? Because it's too short? Like what do I do? And that gave me validation. That do you know what? These kind of quick conversations are great for me, but I also know they're great for my peoples as well, because there's a few of you guys that tell me that you like the length of it.

Speaker 1: 6:32

It's just a quick, bite-sized, mouthful voice note. It's like I'm voicenoting my friend. That's how I feel like my podcast. I'm just sending my friend a voice note and, trust me, some of my voice notes are longer than my podcast. I'm not gonna lie, I can screenshot them for you. But that's that's the kind of validation you need, the ones that, like they, say, yeah, I'm, I'm onto your ting, I'm listening to what you're doing and I appreciate what you're doing and it's good.

Speaker 1: 7:01

But, knowing it yourself and I do I love my podcast. I love knowing that I have a podcast. I love knowing that I have a place for me to express, explore and connect and talk about what's on my mind and share it, because I know that there are a lot of people that feel the same way I do. I know that there are a lot of people that, how many times a week, they say they must not know who I am. They don't know who I am. But I am here to remind you, to tell people who you are. I'm here to remind you to show up as the person you are and stop being humble. Oh, do you remember when we were told to be humble? Oh, calm down. Calm down for what? Because if tomorrow never comes, what was you calm for? If you know who you are, be her, be him and show up.

Speaker 1: 7:48

This week I also got a reminder that I don't need the compliment, but trust and believe I want the compliment. The compliment, but trust and believe I want the compliment if I'm, if I got dressed up like you know what I mean when I say dressed up, if I put four into what I was wearing, I don't need for everyone to tell me that I look good. I want you to tell me I look good just because it makes me feel good. And I know that if I see that, that woman that shows up, even that man, everyone loves a compliment. They don't. They don't need it some people and some people do, but I'm talking about the ones that don't need it, but they just want it because it feels good.

Speaker 1: 8:23

It feels nice to receive a compliment. It feels nice for when you've put on your gowns and you've put on your nice outfit, for someone to say, oh, okay, okay skirt, because we all know what okay skirt means. Or okay shirt, okay item of clothing, okay earring, thank you. Yeah, I did that. Like for someone to say I love the way you put your outfit together, I love what you're wearing, I love this oh, my god, that is tea. Like I love to give those compliments back and if someone doesn't do it, you, I mean, you can tell if someone likes what you're wearing. But there are certain people that I'm like. I expect the compliment for you if, if I ate, tell me it's eight o'clock, but if you don't, I'm not in my head thinking, oh man, I look shit because I had, I knew, I knew I ate, I knew I ate when I put my outfit on.

Speaker 1: 9:17

I feel like my outfit today is so basic, just because whenever I'm doing the Carnival Angels jobs, I kind of want something that I can easily slip into. But my outfit's cute. My outfit's cute, like it's basic but it's cute, it's given, basic but cute. I've got my extra shirt on, I've got my little wrap skirt on. You know, easy, easy access, easy on, easy off. That's what we're doing.

Speaker 1: 9:41

What else am I saying today? That was my main, that was the main thing I wanted to say. Some people do know who you are, but they ain't gonna tell you. They're not gonna tell you who you are. They, they, they know exactly who you are, but they want to test you as well. They want to test if you know who you are or they just don't give a shit. But, like I say it's not for everybody else to know, it's not for everybody to have to tell you, it's not for everyone to have to validate you yeah, it feels good, but it's for you to know who you are and it's for you to show up as that, as that one, as her, as him, and do whatever it is that you need to do. So, yeah, I think that was all that I really, really really had to say. Was I talking about that to Callie?

Speaker 1: 10:30

If the energy is not energising, it's draining. It's either that or that. And if you're around people that don't energise you, don't pour into you, don't make you want to be more, but they're just not energising you. The opposite to that is that they're draining you. So you need to be mindful about the people you allow to stay and hold space around you. Anyone can come around you. People can be around you that you don't even give them access to you. They can be sitting next to you, but you're not giving them access to you. But if you're giving someone time and energy, then you're pouring, you're giving them, you're giving into them and it's straining.

Speaker 1: 11:13

I had a great, I watched a great post yesterday and the lady was saying she knows exactly what she's asked for. So if what she, if something different shows up, she doesn't have to give it her attention. So she used the example of if she asks the universe for a giraffe and she just knows she's waiting for a giraffe in it. So she's sitting there and the giraffe doesn't show up, but a hippopotamus shows up. She ain't going to entertain the hippopotamus because she doesn't want the hippopotamus. But if you're entertaining that hippopotamus, you might not even realise you're here entertaining hippo. Oh, you're tusks, hippo. They're gorgeous tusks Like you might even be doing all of that. You might be like oh yeah, it's nice, ok, ok yeah, the weather's nice today. Giraffe is walking right past you. That's what you asked for.

Speaker 1: 12:10

You need to keep your eyes on what it is that you want, not everything that is not for you. Can you entertain? And let's not take this lightly. Obviously I mean it in a deeper sense. That's that's not like me saying that if you watch the uniform, if you watch the universe, for a husband and just, you can't talk to people that are just like light work. But it's the entertainment, it's entertaining things that aren't for you.

Speaker 1: 12:36

So if you're, if you're entertaining what is not for you, what is for you can easily slip past you while you're over here. Wasting your time with could be something you don't like, something you're not interested in, having conversations that you're not interested in, when you could be having conversations that feed your soul. You could be having conversations with the people who have access to the things that you ask for in the universe, that job that you want. You could be having meaningful conversations with people that can open doorways and have access to the things you want. But you're over here engaging for time, to pass the time or sometimes to make other people feel good. We gotta be very, very mindful about where we're sticking our time, where we're putting our time and who we're allowing access to our time. And that's been my time. Thank you for sticking around.

Speaker 1: 13:36

I I'm gonna try and do an episode next week. I'm gonna try and do an episode next week. I'm going to try and do an episode next week. But, like I said, it's carnival weekend so and I'm working day and night, so I can't make any promises. But if I'm not here, I'll be on the gram, I'll be on TikTok and hopefully I'll see you around. Peace out A-town, down west side, is the best side. Do I believe that I don't know. But what I do believe and what I do know is that, wherever I'm at the vibes, at the vibes here each and every week, are they, are they, baby? Tell a friend to tell a friend to show up and make sure you're showing up for yourself more than anyone else. I love you guys.