EP 83: Burnout, ADHD & Doing It All Alone: The Truth Behind My Slow Crash!

This episode wasn’t planned, it poured out.

I’m talking about the kind of burnout that creeps in quietly. The kind that doesn’t explode, but slowly drains you until you’re questioning everything: your energy, your dreams, your worth, your damn dinner plans.

As a single mum, business owner, speaker, creative, and (let’s be real) human juggling all the things, I’m feeling the crash.

Throw in undiagnosed ADHD and the pressure to keep it all going… yeah, it’s a lot.

In this raw, unfiltered episode, I talk about:
– What a slow release burnout feels like
– Why women, especially entrepreneurs and mums, hit this wall hard
– Parenting with (and maybe having) ADHD
– Why being "the vibe" sometimes hides the struggle
– The guilt of being tired when you’re supposed to be grateful
– Letting go of perfection and finally saying “I’m not okay — and that’s okay.”

This one’s for anyone who’s been powering through on empty. You’re not alone.

🎧 Press play and breathe with me.

Chapters

• 0:00 Understanding Burnout and Its Impact
• 2:12 The Struggle of Being Everything Alone
• 7:31 ADHD Discovery and Self-Acceptance
• 12:25 Emotional Breaking Point and Vulnerability
• 17:27 Finding Positivity through Real Struggles
• 19:20 Episode Closing and Next Week Preview

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I wanted to talk to you a lot about burnout today, because it's a space that I feel like I've been in, but it's a slow release, burnout, whatever that means. Burnout is your body's way of it telling you I love you so much that I can't let you keep going Like. Imagine that it is your body's way of slowing you down, and it's like your mind and your body coming together to put you in pause, a timeout, put you on the stairs, face the wall, because you can't keep going like this. And I think women suffer from it most. And I could be wrong I absolutely could be wrong but for me, when I speak to my fellow friends, there's a burnout happening, and as much as I say that I feel like women suffer from it most, I feel like there's another set of women that could suffer from it most, and that is women who are sole traders, working on their own business, are entrepreneurs. And why do I say that? Let me think about it. Maybe I say that because that's where I am, and so it's, you know, a reflection of myself. I'm seeing myself, and then I'm having conversations with other women and they're they're reflecting me, like I'm like OK, so you're, that's happening for you too. I don't know. I don't know, I don't have all the answers and I'm trying to figure it out myself because for me it feels. I feel like I've been in this space in my head where I feel like I'm having a slow release, burnout, but I feel like it's been happening, I want to say last couple weeks, but honestly it could be the whole month. And is that me being ungrateful? I don't know. I don't know. Is it me overthinking? I don't know. I said honestly, I don't know. But I, my main focus is to figure out a way how to deal with it. So let's jump into this together.

Speaker 1: 2:06

Hi guys, welcome to another episode of the so flipping extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore and connect and be so flipping extra why? I hear you ask well, babes, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado, let's get into this episode, because we're going to figure this out together, because I am 100 sure I'm not the only one feeling the way I'm feeling, so let's go. So the question is why is our mind and our body ganging up on us? Why are you ganging up on me and slowing me down and making me go into timeout? Because you're not listening. Honestly, that's why it's because you're not listening, because we know what's right and wrong.

Speaker 1: 2:45

We know when we're feeling a little bit stressed out. We know when we're feeling like we're doing too much. We know when we're feeling tired, when we haven't slept properly, we're dehydrated, all of these things. We know it. However, we need to do something. I've got shit to do. I can't stop now. I've got somewhere to go. I've got money to stop now. I've got somewhere to go. I've got money to make. I've got people I need to contact. I've got ladders to climb. I can't stop now. And we keep going and going and going, and we're tired. I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired.

Speaker 1: 3:19

But if I don't do it, who's doing it? Being single, I don't do it. Who's doing it? Being single? I don't know if that, I don't know. I don't want to put us in another box. Maybe it's worse for us as well.

Speaker 1: 3:31

Being single, you're in it on your own. There's no help. You're home and you're trying to do everything in the house by yourself, and then the kids are just kidding. Kids are being kids. Don't want to call them selfish little cunts. Oh, can I say that? I didn't. I did say that, didn't I, ah, did I just say that? I'm sorry. I love my babies. I'm not gonna call them selfish, because they're not, but kids are kids. Kids are beat, doing, they're doing kid stuff and however that shows up, it's just kid stuff and trying to figure out, trying to be the best parent.

Speaker 1: 4:09

I've never before been a parent of a 19-year-old boy sorry, a soon-to-be 19-year-old boy and a soon-to-be 19-year-old girl. Both of these children, although I'm a mother of two, they're both new experience. Having a son and both my kids is very different. Having a son and having a daughter are two. I'm two totally different mums to my children. At the same time, caden experienced one mum and Callie experienced a whole nother mum. And I tell them this all the time you lot have two totally different mums. I'm still amazing. I'm still the best. You lot chose me. Remember that. But you've got two totally different mums.

Speaker 1: 4:48

Two totally different times in my life I've gone off on a tangent. I don't even know where I was before that. I honestly don't know where I'm at. I might have to pause, rewind and come again. Why is my body trying to slow me down? Oh, I'm doing this side of this. I'm doing it on my own and every day I'm trying to figure out how to be the best version of myself, and not only for myself but for them as well, so they get the best experience of me, they get the best version of me, they get the best me that I can be. I'm trying to figure that out, as well as actually have a business that actually is making money and that people want to actually support and buy stuff from and actually teach in the world what it is. That I know because I love that side of that, but actually chasing my real dream of what I've wanted to be since I've been a little girl. Every day my brain is here, here, here, here here. And over the past few years I don't know where this podcast is going today.

Speaker 1: 5:56

Honestly, over the past few years so many things have come to me, like growing up with Caden and from when he was probably about the age of three, someone saying has he got ADHD? He's very hyper. I mean, he's just a boy, he's just boisterous to him. But going to primary school and them telling me we believe Caden has ADHD and I was just like Lowit why are you not trying to put labels on my child To him then being in secondary school and then telling me we think he's got ADHD and we think you should get him statemented so that he can have extra support because he's going to struggle when it comes to exams. And that's the only time that I really was like, oh okay, well, I don't want him to struggle. No one ever mentioned struggling before. I was just like, nah, he's cool man, he's just a kid.

Speaker 1: 6:48

And then by the time he got to secondary school and they said that it could, I felt like it was my fault If he struggled during his exams. It would be my fault because I never got him statemented, I never got him checked out to see if he actually really had ADHD. And I had the conversation with him and he said I don't want, I don't want it, I don't want to, I don't need it, I'm fine. So, and by that point it was also too late, like by the time we would have all of that would have gone through um, the exams were here and he, he done fine, he done as as well as um, and he could have done better.

Speaker 1: 7:27

And then at that point, so much obviously over the last few years, so much about adhd has come out, and then learning that it's hereditary and there's so much in caden and callie. But because I'm talking about caden first, um, that I'm like, yeah, but he's just. I was like that, like the things that the school would say about him on parents evening and stuff, I'm like, but that was my reports and this is how I felt and this is how I would have wanted my mum to deal with that. Since I'm dealing with it with him, I was like, oh, it's me, I have ADHD. So now being an adult and realizing that um, I've self-diagnosed myself, by the way, guys so realising that I have ADHD and then actually still trying to function in life is a whole new experience. And I feel like, because I've accepted this part of me, now I've actually released the, the mechanism of covering it all up and just being who everyone wants me to be and I'm allowing myself to be myself.

Speaker 1: 8:41

But in allowing myself to be myself, I feel like I'm getting less shit done, because I'm like nah, am I blaming everything on ADHD? I don't know. I honestly don't know. Am I like, oh't know? Am I like, oh, actually I'm just going to ignore everyone because it's the ADHD, the ADHD is ADHD.

Speaker 1: 8:57

And am I doing it because I'm making up an excuse or am I genuinely doing it? Because I'm tired? I'm tired. I'm actually tired, tired of talking to people. I'm tired of doing this shit on my own. I'm tired. I'm actually tired of trying to run my own business and I'm tired of doing this shit on my own. I'm tired. I'm actually tired of trying to run my own business and I'm tired of trying to run my own business. Why am I getting so emotional? Man, shut up. This wasn't supposed to go this way. I'm just letting you guys know.

Speaker 1: 9:31

This wasn't on my notes. I'm tired of trying to run my own business and trying. I'm tired of trying. I need to do something. So, with that said, shit's got to change. That's all I do know is shit has to change, and it's a hard thing not knowing what's changing when you're doing it on your own, and I'm not. I'm not the person that knows how to, that knows how to. I'm not the person who knows how to ask for help, because a lot of the time, I don't even know what I'm asking for. So I am doing it on my own and even now I'm in my room recording my podcast. My kids are outside of the room. They're none the wiser to what is actually happening.

Speaker 1: 10:37

I'm crashing out right now and in real life and as soon as I finish this podcast, I don't know if I'm going to edit it now. I don't know if I'm going to edit it now or I'm going to go shopping Because I need to go shopping. I need to buy stuff for dinner today Because I need, because I need to go shopping, I need to buy stuff for dinner today because I need to cook dinner. So everything's just going to be normal in the next 10 minutes. Everything is going to be absolutely normal. Is that normal? I don't know. I don't know, guys, um, but here we are, here we are, here we are, and I don't even know where I'm going with this. I don't even know if this, is this, even going to make it to a real episode today. It actually might. Maybe it needs to. Maybe it needs to, because maybe you know when it's like asking for help and not asking for help, but someone might just help me. Not that I'm saying, I'm not even saying I need help. I don't need help, clearly, obviously, because I'm fucking amazing. But someone else might actually listen to this and be like, oh my god, I'm not alone and that's why, oh, I wish this lump would get the fuck out of my throat. Man, god, get on my nerves. This is why I keep doing this, this podcast, because, right, I'm coming back so honestly.

Speaker 1: 12:10

When I started this podcast over a year ago, I had goals and I was like I wanted, I wanted growth. I just wanted growth. Actually, I wanted to start this podcast, have some mad growth. Everyone listens to me because everyone thinks I'm absolutely amazing and they want to hear what I've got to say and I bring bants and I bring joy, all that good stuff, and I'm going to grow, which is going to means I'm going to monetize and brands are going to want to, um, do collaborations with me on my podcast. I'm going to make mad money and it never happened. It hasn't happened up to now. Still hasn't happened.

Speaker 1: 12:51

And I'm fine with that because I get to still talk and I get to share what's on my mind and my journey, and I truly believe there are so many people that are just going through life and they're just so quiet about their what. They're just so quiet about what they're going through and they're quiet about where they're struggling, because it's easier to stay quiet than let the world know it's not working out. So I do this podcast and I am vulnerable because I hope that I'm helping someone else who doesn't have a voice and is going through the same thing as me and is going through the same thing as me. Okay, I really need to get. I need to get this over and done with, because I really need to go shopping. I don't know where this all comes from. Oh my god, I actually wonder if this is part of the burnout. This is what I'm hoping, honestly. I'm hoping that I've done this and I've said it and you'll have heard it and it fucks off, honestly, like it releases itself from my body.

Speaker 1: 14:32

I've got shit to do this week. I actually busy. I'm actually busy this week. Is it this week like I'm busy? This week? I ain't got time for this. But, oh god, do you know what I've got in my notes? And I was meant to talk about this last week, but I didn't know how to talk about it.

Speaker 1: 14:48

But right now it feels really apparent, and it is that two things can be true at one time, as right now it feels like that you can be happy and sad at the same time. You can be grateful and still sad at the same time and still sad at the same time, and at least it is for me, because for me I can see the positive. I see such a positive in such the positive. Speak properly, I see the positive in everything, every situation, every negative that happens happens. There's always a positive around it. You can search. You might have to dig a little bit, but I've done so much searching on myself that I can find the positive in every situation. And not to toot my own taunt, not to toot my own horn toot, motherfucking toot but people have said that about me. You always find the positive. Yeah, every cloud has a motherfucking silver lining and I like silver as well, so it just helps. But I can fight. I can see the positive.

Speaker 1: 16:03

Oh that this shitty thing happened, like I stepped in shit but my shoes needed a good clean anyway. Do you know what I'm saying? So everything has a positive. Sometimes we need shit to happen so that we can have a spin around and then the good things come after that. But here's what's going to happen today, because this wasn't meant to happen.

Speaker 1: 16:31

I had a good few things in my notes and you don't know, I don't usually take notes, but I don't know what happened. So I'm not going to go through everything that's on my notes today, because I'm feeling a little bit too emotional and so I also feel like, because of that bumper clock, everything, everything else I'm talking about, it's not gonna feel very authentic. I don't know, because I'm in a moment right now. Oh no, I can't take this. My voice is annoying me. What the hell? It's getting worse. All right, I'm coming back, okay. So, yeah, I am gonna close up this episode, but I need you guys to come back next week, because everything I was gonna say on this episode, I'm saying it next week and I've got some good topics and I'm gonna re.

Speaker 1: 17:26

I feel like you know, when you say, come back next week for well, when we talk about that's what I feel, like this is happening right now. Come back next week for well, when we talk about that's what I feel like this is happening right now and we're talking about you're as old as you act. It's not about as old as you feel, it's as old as you act. That's what we're talking about next week. We're also talking about energy is currency. Would you pay to hang around certain people? If you had to pay to hang around people. We're talking about that next week, so hang on, so make sure you come. And we're also talking about real life clothes, because everyone's looking the same like people are real life clones out here, and we're discussing that next week, so make sure you come back.

Speaker 1: 18:03

Hang on a second. Who is it? What do you want coming? If you're ugly here, they're coming. Hi, ugly, what do you want?

Speaker 1: 18:12

I'm literally in the middle of my podcast. Why are you taking my nail polish? Love you, hi podcast. Oh, bye, go. Um. Do you know what peace out A-town, down west side, is the best side?

Speaker 1: 18:31

Do I believe that? Not really. But here's what I do believe, even in the midst of a fucking burnout and a crash out, is that wherever I'm at the vibes that, because if we were out together, you lot wouldn't even know. Oh, my god, my belly's growling. I wonder if you just heard that you don't even know that I was crashing.

Speaker 1: 18:52

Because wherever I'm at the vibes at, wherever I'm at the vibes at and it's not no fake vibes it is how I want to feel. I want to be the energy that people love. I want to be the energy that people feel, and I don't do it for other people. I do it because it makes me feel good. Being on high energy, being hyper, being excited, being excited about what's happening, being excited about life, being excited about what's coming brings me joy. The moment I'm not excited anymore is the moment my joy is gone. So, wherever I'm at the vibes that, be the vibe that you want to feel, be the vibe that you want to see. I love you guys. I'm going to come back next week and to support me god damn it, fuck's sake, because I'm tired, but I'm about to get some shit on and go food shopping because someone gotta cook for these kids, dang. I love you guys. Bye.