EP 79: Why Flirting, Showing Off, and Being Extra Are Superpowers!

This week on Sew Flipping Extra Pod, I’m getting real about flirting, showing off, and why being extra is actually a superpower. I’m sharing my take on flirtatious energy (spoiler: it’s not always about romance), a beautiful conversation I had with a young dancer about embracing her shine, and why perception isn’t reality. 

Plus, I’m giving you a behind-the-scenes look at my 20-day social media challenge, how I’m decluttering my space and my energy, and rethinking my goals for the rest of the year. 

If you’ve ever been called “too much,” “a show-off,” or found yourself stuck chasing perfection, this one’s for you. ✨

Narinda (Professional Organiser) Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/own.law.professionalorganiser/

Chapters

• 0:00 Defining Flirting vs. Flirtatious Energy
• 3:27 Show-offs and Being Extra
• 9:51 Finding Joy in Difficult Situations
• 12:20 Decluttering for Mental Clarity
• 15:40 Social Media Challenge Insights
• 22:30 Post Content Without Fear

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Flirting Very interesting word has mostly one meaning. Do you know what? I'm actually going to Google what the term flirting means. Flirting meaning? Oh, okay, flirt Behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions, and they use the example she began to tease him flirting with other men in front of him. So here's my take on flirting, because I have been called a flirt many times in my life and at first I'd be like no, no, no, I'm not a flirt, I'm not a flirt and I am. I am a flirt and I enjoy being a flirt. But this is my take on flirting because I see flirting and I can imagine there's going to be a lot of people like reaching, you're reaching, but I'm a reach all the time.

Speaker 1: 1:04

I see flirting as someone who has very playful energy, and the example did say, the definition did say about being playful. But it's not always sexual, because you can fuck around and flirt and next minute be married to someone in their mind. Next minute you're breaking up with someone that you didn't even know you was in a relationship with. Do you know what I'm saying? So flirt, to be flirtatious, is just to be really playful and maybe there, maybe there is a difference between flirting and having flirtatious energy. You will have flirtatious energy and someone will call you a flirt because you have flirtatious energy and they are used to that flirtatious energy, meaning that you're flirting, which, if you're flirting with someone you're not interested in, is a negative, but the the you flirt in, or you having flirtatious energy, is a perception that they have based on just what they know. Everything is perception. So to one person I'm not wrong or right here, by the way it's just my, my perception of flirting and what I've grown up to know, because I know that I am just. I can just be with someone and be like, oh hey, what's up with my big eyes and my big smile, and all of a sudden I'm flirting. All of a sudden I've been accused of flirting with someone because I said, hey, how are you? Oh, yay, and now I'm a flirt from doing that, didn't even flash a titty or nothing. Now, come on, it's all perception. So for one person, saying hi to the opposite sex is way too much In front of your man, are you crazy? We are about to have a full blown argument because you just said, hey, you're right to a guy. It's all perception. I enjoy having flirtatious energy. I enjoy being an energetic person who is just happy and bubbly every day. If that comes off as flirting, baby, I'm a flirt because it makes me feel good, and you know what we're about over here.

Speaker 1: 3:10

Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the so Flippin' Extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore and connect and be so flippin' extra. But why, dani, I hear you ask. Well, baby, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado, let's get into this episode. Baby is something that I say a lot. By the way, I call a lot of people baby. Am I a flirt? I mean, we've already we've already realized that I am, but does that make me a flirt? I really want to know. Do you know what? I might have to put this question on my page this week and then I'll talk about it next week. But what makes someone a flirt? What is flirting and are you a flirt? I want to know all these questions. Do you consider yourself to be a flirt? It is all perception.

Speaker 1: 3:57

I had the privilege this week to speak to a young girl who she 11 years old and she doesn't like school, and I was so grateful that I got to talk to her. She's my friend's daughter and I got to talk to her and have a really deep conversation with her and I want to share something with you guys that's come up because I've spoken briefly about the word show-off before and the word show-off came up in our conversation. So she let me know she doesn't like school and was asking her why she doesn't like school and she gave her reason. So it was like what do you like about school? And the things that she liked about school were her friends and after that was it to be honest. But after a bit more digging, she doesn't want to go to school, she wants to be a dancer. So what does she have to go to school for if she wants to be a dancer? So I said, well, do you do dance at school? Like, do you do after school club dance? She said yes, so do you not enjoy that? And she's like well, yeah, and I was like well, you never said that when we asked you what you like. So she enjoys doing dance, she enjoys doing football, which she also does after school, and she enjoys playing with her friends, like just being around her friends. So very creative young girl. So, okay, talking, talking, talking.

Speaker 1: 5:14

And then I started digging a bit deeper and I said so, um, arts and I more about dance. Like, what do you like about dance? You do you like a teacher? She said, yeah, she's a bit of a show-off though, and I said she should be a show-off. She's a teacher, yeah, she's a bit of a show-off though. And I said she should be a show-off, she's a teacher.

Speaker 1: 5:26

And there was a bit of a silence that we had. This was over the phone, so we had a bit of a silence and I was like um you, I said and then, and then this reminded me of the conversation of show-off, because we say show-off as a negative oh, my god, you're such a show-off. So I said to her you know what a show-off is like? Who do you're such a show off? So I said to her you know what a show off is Like? Who do you define as a show off? And she's like you know, people just show off. And I said listen.

Speaker 1: 5:51

I said if you had a dance rehearsal or you had a dance performance and I came and you weren't showing off, I'd be like why did you even invite me? What did I come to watch? If you're dancing, you need to show off. I said you're only a show off because you're doing something good and someone sees you and then they say, oh my God, you're such a show off, why is she showing off? Who does she think she is?

Speaker 1: 6:15

I said you, I bet there's a girl in your class who maybe isn't the best. She's not great, she's not a good dancer, she's got a lot of learning to do. Maybe she's not confident. Has is. Does anyone call her a show-off? She said no. I said you get it then and I think the penny dropped. She was like oh, she said, but I thought show-off was like you know, it was a bad thing. I said yeah, babes. I said there's a lot of words that you know. Finger quotes is a bad thing, because that's what we've grown up to learn, because people put a negative spin on it.

Speaker 1: 6:46

So obviously I had to give her the whole be an extra conversation and I was like I was called extra growing up and there were so many times people would say you're so extra, why are you doing that, why are you being extra for that? And I instantly would go. You know, when a balloon gets a pop and it just slowly shrinks until it's deflated and empty. That was me, when someone would say why are you, why are you showing off for? And I'd be like I'm not trying to show off. I genuinely am just trying to have fun. I'm having fun and I'm being called to show off just because I'm having fun and I'm dancing and I'm singing really loud, and I'm just being loud. I'm like whoa and I'm spazzing out, but in a good way, and now I'm a show off.

Speaker 1: 7:34

So I was explaining that to her but I said but when I sat there, deflated now because I've been called to show off, I was now boring. Oh, why are you being boring? For? Come on, get up and dance. Like, why are you not dancing? Why are you not doing everything? Why are you not making us laugh? Oh, now you want me to be the fucking clown. So people will always have something to say.

Speaker 1: 7:57

You have to decide what you want to listen to. Do you want to listen to them and how they feel and what they want out of you, or are you gonna pay more attention to how you want to feel? If you want to show off and be the best dancer in class and be able to do the splits when no one asks you to, that's what you need to do. If that's what brings you joy, that's what needs to do. But I said the most important thing is going to school and finding the best things about school every single day, because, unfortunately for you, you have to go. You just have to go.

Speaker 1: 8:30

If you don't go to school, your mum gets in trouble, and if you don't go to school, you've got to be homeschooled and you probably wouldn't even want to be homeschooled. You've just got to get through, though. But just to help you get through, just find the stuff that you enjoy doing and find a reason to smile every day at school, and I said I bet you you'll come out of school in you're after this year, you've got four more years left and you'll be like wow, I had such a good time at school. I said it's a massive change from primary school and it feels so big and so heavy, but just give yourself time, but just learn to love it, and either you might have a child whoever's listening to this you might have a child that doesn't enjoy school. I think that's a great conversation to have with them, but also for ourselves, because there are so many situations that we're in that we don't enjoy, but maybe we have to do them for where we're at at that time. Just find the best feeling that you can have in that situation at that time. If it's something, if you have to be there, get the most out of it that you can. But as adults we're lucky because we've got choices. We might have to move a few things here and there, but sometimes we can make better. We can make decisions that we don't have to be there or we can leave. Unfortunately for a child, babes, you gotta go to school. So, yeah, tell me what you think about that. Like. What do you think about the advice that I gave, and is that something that you would take on for yourself as well?

Speaker 1: 9:57

So we are how many? We're five months into the January, february, march, april, may. We're nearly five months in. So we've gone past the first four, eight, 12. We've gone past the no, well, we've gone past the first quarter. But what is it when it's freeze? Oh my, what's it called? My fractions are not fractioning. Oh my God. Okay, so we've gone. We've gone past the first, the first, first third. Oh, forget it. We're four months in, right, five months in. We're five months into the year. We're nearly halfway. Okay, that sounds better. We got there in the end.

Speaker 1: 10:34

We're nearly halfway through this year, and so what I want to do, since we're halfway through, is sit down with myself and go back over my goals that I set for the top of the year. What did I want to achieve by the end of this year and see where I'm at with that, so that by the time we get to six months in, I can say boom, this is where we're at and this is still what I've got to do, and this is what I put a little bit of effort into and what I need to put more effort into, or this is what I've put a lot of effort into. Maybe I need to pull back there, but I want to level up my goals, and the way to level up your goals is to really add a why. Add a why to your goals, and it might not even just be goals. It might be things that you want to do. So not everyone calls a goal a goal, like it's just a task or whatever it's like.

Speaker 1: 11:21

A goal to declutter in your wardrobe might not be a goal. A goal like it's just a task or whatever it's like uh, a goal to declutter in your wardrobe might not be a goal. To some people, it might just be a task that they need to do, and you might be have said from the beginning of the year I really want to declutter my wardrobe, I want to declutter my house, but you just haven't done it and there's a reason why you haven't done it, because it doesn't feel important. Maybe there's other things that you know you can, you want to do more, so you're doing those. Maybe you're doing absolutely nothing, maybe you're just doing one of them, ones where you could have started it, but your energy was just like not today, every single day. But why?

Speaker 1: 11:56

If you ask yourself, why do I want to do that? What's it going to do for me? How's it going to make me feel? Remember, feeling, feeling, feeling. Add feeling to everything helps so much. Why do I want to do it? And add the feeling to. When you tell yourself why you want to do it, but add the feeling it, once I have this thing done, it will make me feel like this so I want to declutter my wardrobes. Why I want to declutter my wardrobes? Why I want to declutter my wardrobes? Because I want to take out the old stuff and just having clothes that I love and that I'm going to wear. So it's not just full, so that every time I go to my wardrobe I can see clearly the things that I enjoy and I feel joy when I go to my wardrobe, because the feeling when I have that it makes it fills me with joy. It's going to make me feel more excited to get dressed in the morning and I'm going to feel more confident because I'm going to have a wardrobe full of stuff that I love. The urge to declutter will be will come a lot more quicker because you'll be like okay, now I know why I really need to do this, because that feeling, when you add that feeling and you sit in it and you're like, oh, that feels good and I need more of that feeling. So if you're trying to declutter and you don't want to pay someone to help you declutter, a couple of options that you have is watch a YouTube video and they will go take you through steps on how to easily declutter your wardrobe.

Speaker 1: 13:25

Look at people's content. There's so many content creators out there that talk about decluttering. I have spoken about decluttering on my page before. Maybe it's because I'm now on my my social media challenge. It is going to be some content that I'll actually put out there, so look out for that. But buddy up buddying up with someone as well, so you could have a Zoom, not a Zoom call. Yeah, you could have a Zoom call. Or you could have a FaceTime call with someone while decluttering and you're both doing it together, so they could be decluttering something or tidying something, or they could be putting up a bookshelf while you're decluttering your wardrobe, but it's like you're both doing it together and it's called the buddying method. So that's a good one. But also, if you can and you just are like I just want to pay someone to come in and do it, there are a lot of creators out there or a lot of people out there that do decluttering.

Speaker 1: 14:15

So I do do wardrobe decluttering and I also have a good friend, because even the therapist needs therapy and I had to have someone to come in to help me declutter my wardrobe because I was like I'm always gonna find something else to do. But I really need this done because I want all the shit out of it so that I feel my brain my brain just feels a lot more easy when I open my wardrobe. And not only did she come and help me declutter my wardrobe. She actually looked at my room and was like, do you know what, feng shui wise, if you move your wardrobe over there, it's actually gonna open up your room so much more and all this, that and the other, and I kid you not, it really really has. Since I've moved, since I have moved to stuff, I've felt so much more free and airy and clear headed. So it's just about keeping it up.

Speaker 1: 15:11

Organised with Narinda. Yeah, organised with Narinda. I'll add her page to the show notes. Honestly, she's amazing. I was emotional after she helped me. I was actually really emotional because, yeah's important. You know it's important to do those to just clear, clear your space, to help clear your head and especially if you are a neuro, neuro diversion, neuro spicy person, it definitely helps.

Speaker 1: 15:37

Okay, my darlings, I'm not gonna hold you too much longer. I just wanted to catch you up to speed with how my social media challenge is going. It's been a week, yeah, and it's been amazing. I'm not even going to lie, though. It has been stressful. Posting three times a day, every day, oh my God, and I know a few of you jumped on it.

Speaker 1: 15:59

So I started this challenge with my girl, naya. I messaged her like last week I think it was last Saturday and I was like I sent her a post and I was like, let's do this. She was like done, let's do this. And then that was it. And I'm so glad I sent it to her and done with her, because she, naya's the type of person right, I'll send her something and I'll be like, oh, this is cool. And she'll be like, yeah, let's do that. And then she'll go and her brain just goes and goes and goes and goes and goes. And then I'm like rah, I was like I was playing it small, but baby girls got me thinking right, this is what we're doing now. So, yeah, it's amazing, the alignment is is just there.

Speaker 1: 16:37

So we've both been doing this challenge. It's been great. We've been catching up with each other, we've been checking in with each other. Did you do your post today? Or she'll just message me free post done, free post scheduled. And I'm like, yep, got my free post scheduled for the day.

Speaker 1: 16:49

So, and I've been using scheduling a lot more, which is really, really helpful because I think a lot of people last week I was MIA, so a lot of people like where have you been? You haven't been at the gym, you haven't been here, you haven't been. Then I was like I've actually really been taking a chill one, they're like, but you've been on social media. I said I've been scheduling posts, I've been waking up I wake up like really early in the morning, so five o'clock in the morning I'm up, scheduled my post and I'm chilling, I'm taking it easy for the day. So it's amazing, perception is a mother. So the perception is that I am heavily online and I am not. I've scheduled my post, but what it has allowed me to do is focus on the areas of my business that I want people to know about more. So I focused a lot more as Danny, the master upcycler and workshop host that offers workshops to the masses. I've focused on being Danny, the speaker host who talks on stages and panel talks, and I focused on Danny, the the awesome, stylish human being who has banging outfits and I wear them and I look good in them and the feedback has been great, like there are.

Speaker 1: 18:05

I've realized that there are so many people that just don't see your post, like they've been following you for years and you just haven't been showing up on their radar. And because I'm posting so often. Now I've started showing up on their radar and now, because they've interacted with my post, even if they've just watched it for like five seconds, now I'm showing up again tomorrow. And now my stories are showing up and now I'm being put in their faces. And now every time they go onto social media I'm popping up again, because they never saw my last post that maybe I posted first thing in the morning, but they saw the other one that I just posted like 20 minutes ago. So, um, for the algorithm wise, it's kind of putting me out there a lot more.

Speaker 1: 18:47

One thing I've had to learn is no overthinking, and I think I said this last week. I need to just just don't overthink, just post the post, post the content there's. I've got shit loads of content. Don't worry about going back people probably ain't even seen it the first time anyway and just post it. Don't overthink it, which has been great because it's taken out the, it's just taken that level of perfection out of it and just really just doing it for the love of it, because whether I done a workshop four years ago or I done it last week, I still did the workshop. Do you know what I'm saying? So it's still, it's still relevant, and also vanity metrics, not paying too much attention to how many likes it got, how many views it got, um, how many comments it got.

Speaker 1: 19:37

You know, we want to see that our posts at least got over 100 likes, but some of the posts are boring. So it's good because it just means that after at the end of the 20 days because it is a 20 I don't know if I said that already it's a 20 day challenge at the end of the 20 days I re-evaluate what people want to see and what people don't want to see, what I want to share, what I enjoyed sharing and what people don't want to see, what I want to share, what I enjoyed sharing and what I don't enjoy sharing. Because as much as we want people to enjoy our page, we have to make sure we are putting out what we want to put out. And you know, even the other day I put out a video about my hair. I was just in the car and I was like just kind of shaking my hair and stuff, because there's a lot of people that love seeing hair content.

Speaker 1: 20:18

But I don't post hair content. But sometimes I'm doing it. I'm doing a bit different today. Let me see how that one bangs. But I've decided I might do more of my hair content on TikTok and let that be my hair page and save Instagram for my business page and then also with TikTok, you know, I can put a bit of the upcycling and fashion in there. But, yeah, make it a hair page instead of, yeah, mixing them up. But I'm still thinking, I'm still considering that. But, yeah, it really is, just post it. See what happens, don't overthink it, and I'm enjoying it. So definitely share with me if you have jumped on. Share with me how, how your week has gone, how your first week went on the challenge and are you going to change anything for this week? I know Narendra jumped on it, but instead of doing three, three posts a day, she was just giving herself one post a day to do and I want to know. So I want her to check in and I can share this next week on on the podcast. How did your first week go and is there any changes that you're going to do this week based on what you're finding well, just based on this week, just based on your first week? So, yeah, but with that said, guys, that is the end of the episode. You see me, that is all. Oh man I.

Speaker 1: 21:35

I tidied my studio the other day. I was going through all my scraps and just kind of re-putting them away, re-re-folding weird re-folding scraps, placing them, putting them together, color coordinating them and stuff, and I don't know. I think I'm allergic to cleaning in it because my chest them are burnt. After my chest burn after that's what I done, run club today and my chest was burning, probably because it's all tightened from all the dust I was cleaning. I can't, you can't be good at everything, can you? And cleaning is just not it for me. But yeah guys, peace out. A town down west side is the best side, do I believe that? Not really.

Speaker 1: 22:13

But let me tell you something kid it, just post the content. If you have a business or a service or you just wanna showcase something that you're doing and you wanna showcase your content, just do it and don't be afraid. This is the key. Don't be afraid that you're gonna look like you're copying someone, because what's original, who's original?

Speaker 1: 22:37

At the moment there's a trend going around, the lizzie mcguire trend. If you're on tiktok, you might. This might be something you know about and it's lizzie mcguire is. She was a girl I think it was 90s, um 90s sitcom, but she had a cartoon character that would sometimes pop up during the program. This trend has now come to tiktok. So you've got all the girlies where they might be talking and then their little cartoon character starts talking as well, and all the girlies are doing the same trend. They're just regurgitating. They're not even just copying someone from last week anymore, they're copying stuff from the 90s, the 80s, the 50s, from 2000s. Everything has been done. Trust me, baby, it's's been done already. So you're not copying Stephanie from down the road or Stephanie who's got 5,000 followers. You're not copying her. You're copying a trend that everyone's jumping on already, because everyone is literally just jumping on. It's mad. Everyone is literally just jumping on the same trend right now and doing the same stuff.

Speaker 1: 23:40

The key is, if you enjoy it and you like the trend, figure out a way that you can make it so different. And even if it's not so different, it's different. But if you just like it for exactly the way it is, but you want to do your version, just do it. Just do it. Do the content and do the content because it's going to bring you joy and happiness and it's going to make you feel good, because not every time is it going to make you a hundred pounds, a thousand pounds. It's not going to make you go viral all the time. So post it because you want to post it, and you're going to enjoy just knowing that you did it. I love you guys. Bye.