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The Sew Flipping Extra Podcast
Welcome to the The Sew Flipping Extra Podcast
A platform for me to Express, Explore, Connect and over all be Sew Flipping Extra… why because that brings me joy.
I'd like to describe this podcast as a Self-Improvement podcast. I mostly hope to make you laugh but i'm not gonna lie, you might cry too, as well as think and grow through conversations with other experts in their field.
The Sew Flipping Extra Podcast
EP 68: We Listen, We Don't Judge: Embracing Self-Grace and Letting Go of Perfection!
In this episode of The Sew Flipping Extra podcast, we dive into the art of giving ourselves grace and ditching the weight of self-judgment. Why are we so quick to uplift others but tear ourselves down? From the endless inner critique about unfinished to-do lists to judging ourselves for mistakes made years ago, it's time to rewrite that narrative.
Join me as I share personal stories, practical tips, and real-life moments that helped me navigate self-criticism. We’ll talk about the power of gratitude journaling, affirmations, mindfulness, and embracing progress over perfection. Whether it’s decluttering your home, starting that passion project, or just quieting the inner voice calling you names, this episode is packed with ways to show yourself the kindness you deserve.
Tune in for a mix of raw honesty, relatable moments, and actionable steps to stop judging yourself and start celebrating where you are today. Let’s listen, not judge—and get back to living in joy.
Don’t forget to share this episode with a friend who could use a little extra self-love, and as always, tell me your thoughts on Instagram @sewflippingextra!
#SelfLove #SelfGrowth #SewFlippingExtra #GraceNotJudgment #Podcast
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We listen, we don't judge self-addition, because we can't be out here listening and not judging other people, but we are our own worst critics Not listening to the ideas and the creativity and the thoughts that come into our head, but judging ourselves like ridiculously when something doesn't go well, when we haven't done something great, judging ourselves for things that happened 10 years ago, 20 years ago. We're still holding judgment to ourselves Ah, do you remember when you done that? Idiot? I feel like such an idiot. I can't believe that happened. We listen, we don't judge. And what does that even look like? Let's break it down and you know what? Let's start this intro really early so we can really get into this.
Speaker 1:Hi guys, welcome to another episode of the so Flippin' Extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore and connect and be so flippin' extra, why? I hear you ask. Well, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado, let's get into this podcast because it's going to be a good one. I mean they all are, but whatever gonna be a good one. I mean they all are, but whatever.
Speaker 1:So, personally, when I think about when I have judged myself oh wow, there's some of the things that I judge myself on it's just like calm down, give yourself grace, like everything. We are learning things as we go on. We are learning things daily and I will. I will judge myself for things that I haven't done and sometimes I judge myself really badly, like last year. I felt like I judged myself and was hard on myself for the things that I hadn't done, like reaching out to brands and not doing I don't know, not tidying up, not decluttering my spaces, so like my home and my workspace, like not doing these things that I said I was going to do it. I said I was going to do it. Why didn't you do it? And one thing you have to do is sometimes think why did I not do it? Is there a deeper meaning to why I didn't do it? And sometimes it just doesn't bring you joy to do these things and you want to live in your joy. We want to live in our joy and there are things that need to get done, but how much do they need to get done?
Speaker 1:I judge myself most weeks at the moment because I'm like what happened to the video content? What happened to the videos that I was going to do? Yeah, I've stayed very consistent, bringing out the podcast, but I was going to do videos. Why haven't I done the videos? Well, I've recorded my studio and it's fucking freezing. It's freezing there. So do I have to be so hard on myself? Because I don't want the discomfort of recording my podcast in my studio, like it's not that bad.
Speaker 1:But that's what we need to be. We need to give ourself grace when it comes to judgment, because sometimes we will be so judgmental to ourselves and we let people slide into our lives and get away with nothing, but we don't want to judge. We see people do some fuckeries, but we don't want to judge. No, I don't want to judge. Not my place to judge, but it's also not your place to judge yourself. It's your place to give yourself grace and be kind to yourself the same way you treat your friends and you are kind to your friends and you wouldn't let anyone talk bad about your friends.
Speaker 1:That person inside you is your friend. They're you, they're part of you. So why is it OK to talk bad about that person? Call them names. Oh, fat cow, you didn't go to the gym today. What would you ever say that to your friend? You would never say that to your friend. Don't didn't go to the gym today. What would you ever say that to your friend? You would never say that to your friend. Don't say that to yourself. Don't talk to yourself like that. And if you are someone that talks to themselves like I very much am and and I still get flabbergasted when I find out that people don't have internal conversations and there's also different levels of the internal conversation if you hear yourself talking to yourself like that, you need to turn around to yourself inside metaphorically and say do not talk to my friend like that. Don't talk to my friend like that. How dare you? Do you know who she is? Do you know what she'd be doing every day? Do you know what she'd be doing? Do you know how hectic her thoughts are? Do you know all the thoughts that come into her head about? We listen, we do listen. We listen to a lot of stuff on a daily basis, but what I also want to do today is go through some steps of how we can be kinder to ourselves and and listen and not judge more to ourselves, since we want to be working on doing it so much for other people.
Speaker 1:I feel like the ways that really helped me to get out of self-judgment was really finding myself. It was through self-expression, it was through finding myself and doing things that I really enjoyed. Because if I really enjoy something, it doesn't matter what. It doesn't matter one one what anyone else thinks, because sometimes that judgment comes from I haven't done this and I'm going to. It's going to look bad If someone else comes in my space and they see it's untidy. It's going to look bad.
Speaker 1:And as much as I do want to declutter for my own sanity, because when you kind of look around and you see clutter, your brain does feel very cluttered. When you kind of look around and you see clutter, your brain does feel very cluttered because, especially for someone who you know is self-diagnosed with ADHD, clutter just brings more thoughts into my head. So like if I'm, as I'm sitting here, doing this podcast and I'm looking around and I see a pile of stuff there and I see something out of place there, even as I'm talking on my podcast, I'm thinking of these things and the other side of my head thinking I need to do that, which means that my next thought for the actual podcast I'm focused on right now sometimes comes out of my head. Like there are times where I'll be doing my podcast and I forget what I was gonna say. So and it's just happened again right now.
Speaker 1:So jumping back in finding figuring out what I was actually talking about it is it really is self-expression really helps you accept where you are, where you currently are, so that you can work on what it is that you're you know as well, and for you it might be something else. So I would love for you to kind of figure out what, what your judgment is. What is it that you keep judging yourself with? Is it that you're not doing enough work on your business and why are you not doing that? What's holding you back from doing that and what would make you do it more? Um, why are you judging yourself? But also learning to accept your imperfections?
Speaker 1:And going back to the clutter I I'm. I accepted a few years ago that I'm like, oh, I'm a bit of a hoarder and I'm working through that. I heard myself. I said I'm. I am a bit of a hoarder, not bit. I'm a bit because I'm not as bad as like you see them, think them, ones that you see on the show and they're like can't go from room to room and every room's packed. It's not like that. I watch the content on TikTok and I'm like, okay, well, not that bad. So maybe I'm just a bit, but I don't want to be a bit. I very want to. For me it's either one or the other. So I have to be a minimalist and at this present moment I'm just working through becoming a minimalist. By working through it's very slow.
Speaker 1:Again, I judge myself on that, like why haven't you done this yet? Why haven't you got done that part yet so that you can get all the clutter out and everything? But I can't judge like these things take time and I'm not doing it with anyone. I'm not working with anyone to to get there. I'm trying to do it on my own.
Speaker 1:And when you try and do stuff on your own, it's hard and sometimes you have to bring people in. You have to get the professionals in and I know about getting the professionals in because I do wardrobe declutters, so I help people declutter their wardrobes. The therapist needs a therapist. Most people that have a therapist, their therapists have a therapist. And this is why I can really connect with my clients when I do their wardrobe declutters, because I know what they're going through that thought of having someone come into your space and you have to open up your wardrobe and they see your mess and they see your clutter and it's the embarrassment of having stuff like, oh, I haven't worn this, I'm so sorry. I'm like babes, calm down, like honesty. I know exactly how you feel. I know exactly how you feel like I'm not judging you. I can't judge you. People in glasses cannot throw stones. Like I understand what you're going through and that's why I can help you, because I understand it and I love that for me. I love that for me. I love that for me. Obviously, I love it for me to not have my clutter as well. And do you know what? To be honest, opening up now and just saying I have clutter is a big thing.
Speaker 1:For a long time, I wanted to actually do content on it and I wanted to have on my YouTube like kind of showcase my space and be like right, let's start this journey and get it out. And it's been. I'm like, no, what, I don't want people to see it until it's gone. So I haven't started. I haven't started with the pictures and said, right, this is what we're gonna do. But I think that would be great because everyone thinks everyone's perfect. Those people that you think are perfect, live in a perfect life. Everyone has their little thing. Stop judging yourself based on other people, because it's yeah, we make it. We can make everything look great on social media.
Speaker 1:I was with a friend yesterday actually, and they said, oh, my room is such a mess, and especially when I'm with mothers as well and they're like, oh, the house house is a mess and you have toddlers, like what I mean, is it really a mess? Like there's mess and there's like dutty. And if you're a human being who gets up and picks clothes and then has to rush off and do something else, and oh, you just fold it and you'll get to that pole later. Like, unless you have a show home, your house is gonna have mess at times. If you live with children, your house is gonna be messy. If I cleaned up after my kids, my my house probably wouldn't be as messy, but my kids have chores to do and if they don't do their chores, they've got to do their chores, since I always love to share with you my ideas and my things and what I'm doing to get through myself, because I always believe that everyone thinks they're going through on their own until they realize that they're not, and a lot of the time when I do my podcasts and someone listens, they'll be like, oh my god, like that really touched me. I really um, hear what you were saying this week and, oh my gosh, that's me.
Speaker 1:So I want to go through a couple of practices that can help us manage our self-judgment and help us get through the judgment so that we can just live. We can just live our lives judgment free. We listen, we don't judge. So first one is gratitude journaling, and you lot know how I feel about gratitude journaling. I love to do it and I started this year really hands-on doing the gratitude journaling. I fell off for a few days um, we listen, we don't judge, because we jump back on life be life in sometimes, and I just got in bed and I was like I'm freezing, I just want to fall asleep and I forgot to write my gratitudes for the day.
Speaker 1:I stay grateful, but writing it down. I definitely, really, honestly, truly believe that writing it down just hits your spirit in a different way and that's why I am keen to just keep doing that. That's something I want to keep doing every day, like maximum 10 things that you're grateful for If you have a, if you are tired and you can't be bothered to write 10 things because 10 things can take a long time aim to write three, then aim to write five, then try and pull a few more out and aim to write seven and once you've got to seven, might as well do 10. But if you do less, even if you just do one, like just find those things that happened in your day to be grateful for, I think is really important.
Speaker 1:Also, affirmations. So every week when I do the podcast, I put prompts into ChatGPT with the transcript of the podcast and one of the things that I always ask for is 10 affirmations about regarding the podcast. And what the affirmations do is they help you to combat the self-judgment. So it just kind of changes. It just changes your way of thinking. So, for example, like when, if it comes to self-judgment, like a positive affirmation could be I am, I give myself grace for where I currently am now, as opposed to saying, oh, why didn't you do that? You're supposed to do that. So just finding just turning your negative thoughts, like anytime you have a negative thought, turn it into a positive, turn it around, turn it into an affirmation that counteracts the bad feeling that you had about what it was that you was doing or wasn't doing. But if you want to work more on affirmations with me, like, just reach out to me, um, and I could write up some affirmations for you. Watch me giving away that's a whole service. Watch me giving away freebies first five people, you get for free.
Speaker 1:So another practice is mindfulness practice. This could be done through meditation, and again this year I jumped back into meditation. It was something I used to do a lot, a lot a couple years ago, by a couple probably over three, I think around the time I had the fire, I was out of my property for three or four months and I found it really difficult. The time that I had the fire, I was out of my property for three or four months and I found it really difficult. The space that I was in. I found it really difficult to meditate and the way I was feeling during the meditation. I felt like I was falling down a black hole and I couldn't. I was losing my breath a lot and then I was coming out of my meditation like sweating and heavy breathing. So I stopped for a while and that, while took a lot longer, again, I've judged myself for it. Come on, just wake up, just do the meditation.
Speaker 1:So easy to pick up the phone and scroll. Pick up the phone and open the meditation app. So I've actually purchased an app now, like I've paid for a year. I don't like to waste money, but I do sometimes. But I've got the app now. Now I don't have to go onto YouTube because opening YouTube sometimes I see other things and I'm like, oh, let me watch that later, let me watch that later, let me watch that later. And then I kind of get sidetracked doing too much, whereas if I have this mindfulness app, then I go straight to the app and start the meditation and practice my mindfulness, which really helps.
Speaker 1:Another tool to help would be reframing imperfections. So embracing the mistakes and embracing your flaws, embracing the, the, your clutter, and making it. I don't know, not even it, because I don't. It's not something I want to embrace, but what I feel like I've done with that is I've made, allowed it to work for me so that I can help other people through theirs. Um doesn't mean that I want to still live in it, but embracing where you are now, just accepting this is where I am now it and I'm not a bad person for it. However, I want to do this with it. You know, if, if I have a sewing project that doesn't go well or something doesn't happen, okay, it's cool.
Speaker 1:This one just didn't go well. We're human beings. We have to give ourselves grace for human interactions and human mistakes that happen and, yeah, all of that stuff. So just refrain reframing the imperfections. It's not. It's not bad. It just didn't go that way that you expected it to go, but it doesn't mean it's like awful. I hope that makes sense.
Speaker 1:I feel like I went through houses and trees with that one, building a support system, so having friends and family that you trust, that you can speak to, that can speak to you, those people that support and uplift you. They help you see how amazing you are. They take you away from the areas, because what it what it also is is that we focus on the things that don't look good and don't feel good when there's so many other things going on. And I think I I do believe I have such a great support system so that I don't have to focus on this class right, because I do so many things well and I know that, like as my support system tells me, but by golly do I tell myself? By golly do I tell myself how great I am at the things that I'm great at and I focus more at the things that I'm great at and less on the things that I'm not great at. That might be the problem focus more. If I focus a little bit on the things that I'm not great at, I might do something about it.
Speaker 1:But I want to live in my joy. I want to feel joy, I want to have excitement, I want to laugh, I want to dance. Do you know what I'm saying? So, like, I focus where the joy is at. I do the things that bring me joy.
Speaker 1:I have a friend, lorinda is an organizer. Do you know how many times she said, dan, I'll come in and help you and I'm like, but I, you know, I don't want to bother you. So, yeah, I have to bother her. She's going to listen to this, so I'm sure it's going to happen. I'll let you guys know how that one goes. And lastly, celebrate your progress, man. Celebrate the progress and not the perfection. Every little progress is a piece of progress. So, again, I'm going to. I think it's easier for me at the moment to stick with the klar If I say to myself right, I'm going to clear one section today, just one section, yours might be. I'm going to clear the clutter drawer in the kitchen. I'm going to clear the bathroom. I'm going to tidy up the bathroom. I'm going to, you know, do something. I'm just going to focus on that one thing and you do it. That was progress. Last week I had progress.
Speaker 1:I had a couple bags here that needed to go to the charity bin. My friend came and I said please, when you come, can I put some bags in your boot and take them down to the charity bin? He was like boom, let's go. Do you know what I'm saying? And I felt so good. I came up my stairs and I was like, could they be just sitting at the top of the stairs waiting to go out to the charity bin? And it's the charity bin's, not far. But the bags are awkward. They're just black bags. They're awkward and me on my two steps. You know it's not easy to get them down there because the bag kept ripping. I think they were a dud set of bags that I got, but they kept ripping. So I it got it, it got done, and I was so grateful. I was like, yes, ah, yes, um, the kids came home it was like all the bags have gone and I was like, yeah, baby, let's go now we've got to put some new ones there for the next, the next cloud drop that we do, um, and yeah, get it out.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, celebrate, celebrate the progress and celebrate your the steps, each step. Just go a day at a time, and it is easier said than done, trust me. I sit here, I say the same thing. I've said it last week, I said it the week before, I said it last year. Oh goodness, these guys. Oh, bless me. One step at a time. Plan of action, because obviously what we don't wanna do is have this whole podcast, this whole episode, and next year I'm saying the same thing. So it's a plan. Have a plan of action, and that's for me. Put a date on it, set a date and have a reward. So how am I rewarding myself once I do it? How are we rewarding ourselves? What's your thing? What's your thing that you just need to get done? Maybe you're being hard on yourself with, you're judging yourself about it. We listen, we don't judge, but let's do something about it.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, do you know, at the beginning of this month, I said that I wanted to have a zoom call at the end of the month where we could sit down and we could talk about you know how gratitude, how doing the gratitude journaling was for us, and just kind of get together and I'd never really done anything about it and last week I never even spoke about the gratitude journaling. But it's definitely something I want to do. I really want to build a community of people that just kind of want to sit down and and just have I don't know talk and share, because sharing is caring. And I always say a lot of the time I've said it a couple times this in this episode we think we're going through it on our own and we think we're the only ones. So if you're interested in that, it could just be two of us, it could be three of us and it can grow. Let me know if you're interested and I would really love to set that up. And you know, just try, put something out there, see what date everyone would be available for or would be interested in doing it, and what does it look like? Um, trial and error, we start. We start where we are because a lot of the time.
Speaker 1:A lot of the reasons why I haven't done stuff is because it's not perfect. What that doesn't even make sense. Uh, because it's not perfect. I haven't done it, but I've never done it before. I've never had a community of people because it wouldn't just be open for women men could come in as well. But I've never had a community of people that, you know, we kind of just share and we share and heal together, and it's something I've wanted to do for years. I've wanted to have a group. It was like do I do a Facebook group? Do I do this group? Do I do that group? That group, ah, but I can't do it. What does it look like? It's, ah, it's gonna have two people in it. So I'm not gonna do it.
Speaker 1:Imagine if I'd started this, I don't know, seven years ago, five years ago, when I had the thought them two people would could be 200 people by now, 200 people that are just dedicated to bettering themselves. That I could have helped. So that's one thing we need to realize. If, if we're not doing, if we're not doing the thing because we're scared that it's not perfect, or we're judging ourselves that it's not going to be, it's not going to look like someone else's. We are. We're being selfish because we're keeping our gift from people that could really benefit from it, and that needs to end, because that gift is what is just gonna make you just feel so fulfilled and make you feel like work is not even work. It's given playtime.
Speaker 1:And with that said, I'm gonna end this episode of the podcast. I hope you got something from it. I really did. I'm really excited to edit this so I can listen to what was I chatting about and, yeah, my goal is if I'm listening to what I was saying, put it into practice. Stop saying it and start doing it.
Speaker 1:Have a good support system. Make sure you are surrounding yourself with people who ride for you, that love you and want to see you win, because they will pump that energy into you. When you're feeling low and you're like, oh man, I'm this and I'm that and I'm just not doing amazing, they will be like come on, babes, you've got this, you can do this. Those are the people that you need around you, that just want to see you win and will speak that life into you when you don't have the energy to do it. That's who should be around you. No one else deserves your energy. They don't deserve to be around you if they can't do that for you. And make sure you are also that person to someone else. Be that person to someone else. And if you can't be that person to someone else, you don't have the energy to be that person to someone else or you don't have it in your spirit to give them that they are not your people, because it should not be hard to just pump that good extra energy into someone. I love you guys.
Speaker 1:Peace out a time down west side's the best side. Do I believe that? Yeah, I'm not too sure, but what I do know is, wherever I'm at, the vibes at and the vibes here in it, the vibe is vibing around here are they? Are they baby? So make sure you tell a friend to tell a friend, because we keep it cutesy around here, we keep it demure. I don't know. I don't know if we always keep it demure, but anyway, love you guys. Bye.