EP 65: Put a Finger Down: 2025 Edition for a Fearless and Fabulous Year!

🎉 Put a Finger Down: 2025 Edition for a Fearless and Fabulous Year 🎉

In this empowering and unapologetic episode, I lays out five things we’re leaving behind in 2025. From ditching the fear of judgment to embracing our boldest, brightest selves, this episode is packed with energy, laughs, and inspiration to start the year strong.

✨ I reflects on my Christmas highlights, share my plans for the New Year, and gives  an inside scoop on my new hair loc journey—spoiler alert: I'm bringing all the vibes in 2025.

💡 Plus, discover the “DO-IT Method” for crushing your goals, why compliments matter more than you think, and how to track your wins to stay motivated all year long.

This isn’t just a podcast—it’s your hype session for a fearless and fabulous 2025. Tune in, vibe out, and get ready to bring your extra into the New Year!

🎧 Press play now, and let’s do this!

Chapters

• 0:00 Letting Go and Embracing Growth
• 14:04 Focusing on Self-Expression With Hair
• 18:12 Setting and Achieving Goals
• 25:55 Continuing the Vibe

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Put a finger down 2025 edition. This is five things that we are not bringing in to 2025, and I'm going to start strong. We're not going to be giving a fuck what people think. If there is something you want to do, if there is something that you are doing, if there is something you want to say, I don't give a shit what it is. You're going to do it, you're going to do it, and if you're not going to do it, it is not going to be because you're too concerned about what people are thinking. Oh, are people going to think I'm being cringe? Are going to people think it's crap? Are going to people think this? That the other four, fifth, six, we're not bringing that into 2025. We're doing what the fuck we want. Number. We are not gonna keep dimming our lights to make people comfortable. Them motherfuckers need to go get some glasses and you need to shine as bright as you want to shine. Shine as bright as the freaking chrysler tower, shine as bright as the freaking disco ball. Be bright if that's what you want to be. Stop dimming your light to make people feel comfortable so that you feel that you can fit into rooms, because people are going to say that you're cringe because you're caring what they think.

Speaker 1: 1:13

Next one we're not going to wait for the perfect time In 2023, we are going to stop waiting for the perfect time. The perfect time is the time that you thought about it, or the perfect time is the time that you get the inspiration to just do it. Because I'm a procrastinator and there are times where I have these amazing ideas and I'm like there's a difference between me not doing it because I'm waiting for the perfect time to do it and not doing it because my brain is just going 125 miles an hour and I can't even get the capacity. It's overwhelming to do it. There are two different things. But to wait to do it because, oh, I have to wait until I have the right camera, I have to wait until I have the enough followers, I have to wait until I don't know, I have the right outfit. I don't know what it is, what it could be, but if there is something that you are waiting for, for for the right time, just do it now. You are good enough to do it as you are. Find a way to do it, and if it's something that you can't stop thinking about, that you really, really wanna do.

Speaker 1: 2:16

Number four we are gonna stop thinking that we have to be someone to make an impact. You don't have to have a story. You do not have to have a story before you are able to tell your story. What you have to say is relevant. There are people that need to listen to what it is that you've got to say. You are important already. You are someone already. You're already that person. Say what it is that you've got to say be who it is that you want to be. Teach what it is you want to teach because already you are here to make an impact.

Speaker 1: 2:52

And last one, and I think this is my most important one, because I love, I love giving these. We are going to stop holding back from giving compliments. We are going to be compliment givers. Why? Because compliments make other people feel good. But personally, for myself and I hope that you find this too giving someone else a compliment makes you feel good. When you see that woman walking past in that bright green jacket oh my God, okay, green jacket, is this what we're doing? Yeah, is this what we're doing? And then she's like ah, sorry, you're talking to me. Ah, giving a compliment feels good. It brings people together. It makes people feel good and it's just, oh, it sets the freaking tone. And those are my five things that we are not doing.

Speaker 1: 3:37

If, hopefully, you didn't put any fingers down, if you ain't put no fingers down, give yourself a fucking round of applause, because 2025 is going to be flipping amazing. And with that said, let me do my intro so we can get into this episode of the so Flippin' Extra podcast. Hi guys, welcome to another episode of the so Flippin' Extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore and connect and be so flippin' extra. Why, I hear you ask Well, baby, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado, let's get into the rest of the podcast, because in a couple of days it's gonna be New Year's and, yeah, let's just finish this year. I don't even think this is my full roundup, but let's just finish this year and let's just plan for an amazing 2025. Let's go Right.

Speaker 1: 4:26

So I must tell you guys how my Christmas went because, as you know, christmas is always something that I feel like I've struggled with, and this year I told myself I was going to have a good Christmas, I was going to be in good energy, good vibes, I wasn't going to sit there and I don't like Christmas. Christmas isn't good for me. La la, la, da, da, da, da, da da. I had a good Christmas. My intentions was to have a good Christmas. My intention was to not let people rub me up the wrong way One person did, but that's their business, isn't it? I had a good day. I ate food, I drank, drink and I laughed and I won. Who wants to be a millionaire?

Speaker 1: 5:07

With my mum, and I feel like I spent a lot of time with my mum this Christmas, which I actually really enjoyed, and I went to different places on Christmas day. I didn't just stay at one place and feel like I had to just stay there. I, I, I went about, I went to where the joy was, I went to where the fun and the excitement and entertainment was, and that was my intentions for Christmas and that are my intentions for Christmas going forward. I don't have to just go to one place. There are options. The only thing that will stop me from having options because, as I'm not driving, is if I can't afford a cab or if there's no one to pick me up. And I used my cab money and I went there, there, there and there, and my mum picked me up. My mum picked me up from my first destination or my yeah, my first stop. My kids had a good time. They really enjoyed Christmas. They enjoyed the things that I got them. We had fun in the morning. We sang songs, we made videos, we done you know our cute little dancing kitchen karaoke videos and we had an absolutely good time. So I'm really happy with how my Christmas was.

Speaker 1: 6:13

And as for New Year's, I don't have any plans. I'm not really a going out a person for the New Year. New Year's usually revolves around family. Back in the day, back in my day when I was a little bit younger, I would go out raving. The other occasion one time we went out and my friend's drink got spiked and I don't know. I feel like after that we was quite. We've been quite quiet. Maybe after that I've been out a few times. I'm more of a new year's day go out up.

Speaker 1: 6:40

I find that parties on new year's eve are so overrated, like the price just shoots up just because it's New Year's Eve, whereas New Year's Day they're just a little bit more normal. And yeah. So last year I went to my sister's house with Callie and my sister has her two boys. So, yeah, us lot were there. The kids went to bed way past midnight and, yeah, we made our phone calls at midnight and we just had a good time. We um had a drink, listened to music, all of that stuff, and, yeah, the kids done kids shit. Do you know what I'm saying? And so it's looking like that for this year.

Speaker 1: 7:18

Um, other than that, it really the next couple days are really about prepping for the new year, getting myself ready for my intentions, setting goals for the new year. I feel like last year I must have done it, but I feel like I didn't set my intentions. Last year I didn't set my goals. I just don't remember doing it. It's really weird. I do feel like this year, 2024 I've just really spent the majority of this year in comparison mode, comparing what I did the year before, comparing what I did in 2023 and how successful, work-wise and collaboration-wise with these big brands 2023 was.

Speaker 1: 8:00

And I don't every this year. It was always like I felt like I started really late, like the the deals didn't come in very early on in the year and then I was chasing them in the sense of by chasing them, not even going out, and you know, sending this out and sending that out, just chasing the urge for them to come to me, and it felt like it never came and I felt like, yeah, I was just comparing myself to 2023 this year and I don't intend to do that next year. Next year, I intend to actually go out and do the frigging work, do the footwork, stop waiting for the opportunity to come. If you, once you know what you want, my goal is to set my intentions and go out and get it, figure out how I'm going to get that. That's what I want. How do I get that that might? That's my intentions and I'm really excited about that and I said it.

Speaker 1: 8:54

I actually said it in a podcast episode early on last year. I must find that episode, actually, that I was prepared for the nose I. I was prepared to receive the no's because I was going to go out and do the work. And I'm going to be honest with you guys. I think I'm very honest on this podcast. I didn't. I didn't do it enough, not even nearly enough, not even half enough, not even a quarter of enough. I didn't do it. And so, yeah, this year I intend to do it way more and I can only say I intend to do it, I can say I'm gonna do it. But last year I said I was gonna do it, so I absolutely intend to do it this year because if I don't, there's there's just no option. I have to do it. I just have to do it. So I am really excited about that and yeah, so yesterday yesterday being what was the date? Yeah, yesterday being the 27th of January your girl decided she was gonna locks up her hair.

Speaker 1: 9:53

Now, wanting to have locks is something that I've wanted to do for a long time and my reasons for not doing it so far is be or my reasons for not doing it yet is that? My reasons for not doing it yet is that my scalp can get really irritated if it's not washed and hydrated. It gets really irritated and I get really itchy, dry scalp. So I was scared to do locks because I thought what if I do locks and then I just have dry scalp like where's it going? It can't. I can't comb it out and you know I I can't wash my hair too much and you know that. You know when you really want to do something, it's something you can't shake.

Speaker 1: 10:36

I love lock styles, which is why I wear my hair in mini twists so so often, but whereas I feel like over the last year or so, my hair is just thinned out a lot so which makes my twists a lot thinner and I'm not enjoying them when I do them. I don't enjoy them the way I used to. They're just not full and thick and just and succulent. They're succulent but they're just not thick the way they used to and I'm like, okay, if I want to achieve that, look, then I'm gonna have to lock my hair and I love, like I said, I love wearing my hair in mini twists and it's just a permanent style. I think that's. I think that's what it is. For me, it's a permanent style. But when I get my, when I get an idea to do something, I'm just in, especially when it comes to my hair, and I've learned now I'm I've learned now that it's just hair.

Speaker 1: 11:34

The thing with black women it's like we're so connected to our hair because and this is just from something growing up is our hair is like our, it's like our blanket, it's like a protection. So when I was growing up, it was like you know, you just want to have the long hair and it's like a beauty standard to have the long straight hair. And even when I decided that I didn't want to have the straight hair anymore, I never really enjoyed my straight hair, to be honest. So even when I first relaxed my hair, I never fully relaxed it. I texturized it so that I could have that kink still to it. And when it got over-processed and I stopped getting the kink, I just didn't enjoy it anymore. I was like straight hair is so boring to me. And when I finally decided to go natural, I was like, yeah, this is amazing, this is amazing. I'm back Like let's go. And so that was a drastic. It was to me it was a drastic step.

Speaker 1: 12:35

But at the time when I decided to go natural and stop relaxing my hair, it was drastic because no one in my circle had done it yet. I was the first person and I was told by a lot of people family members, and uh, no, don't do that, you don't want to do that. And and I did it. I'm just like, I'm just going to do it, like, come on, what's the worst that can happen? It's the best thing that could have happened. And then, even before that, I cut my hair. When my hair was relaxed, I'd done a really short like pixie cut mohawk thing, and I had the idea in my head and I was like I'm just gonna do it, I'm just gonna do it. So, yeah, with the locks, I'm just gonna do it and I'm really excited, I'm actually gassed. I'm actually gassed, um, because I know that by by summertime my hair's gonna be looking like a painting and if it's not, I'm sorry. Sorry to who? No one, but it's gonna. Yeah, I'm excited for summertime. Summertime's gonna be banging. I'm excited I'm gonna make like little lock charms for my hair and stuff. The ADHD is ADHD in because, like, when I get on something, I'm like, oh, my god, I could do this, this is this, like, yeah, so it's, it's, it's ADHD, and I'm not even gonna lie. But yeah, I'm really excited. So we're on a locks journey. You guys are in this with me. You'll get my updates. I won't, don't worry, don't calm down, I'm not gonna be updating you lot too much, uh, but you'll see the change because I need to be more organized.

Speaker 1: 14:04

I really, really wanted to do a video, especially because this was going to be my last podcast for the year. I really wanted to do a video episode, but it just never happened and every, every day went into one. I didn't even realize what day of the week it was. I nearly lost out on a client, a makeup client, today, because I thought it was Friday and I booked her in for Saturday and luckily she doesn't live too far and she called me and she was like dad and I was like babes, I've messed up, haven't I? I said I'm coming. So, yeah, I didn't get to do the video, but we move, we keep it moving. What was I saying? I went off on a tangent, forgot what I was talking about. Why was I telling you that I really wanted to do a video?

Speaker 1: 14:47

It's got something to do with the hair Lock journey, that's it. So you guys are going to see the changes, you're going to see the transition. You're going to see my hair, like just doing little bits and pieces, ride with me in it. Give me nice compliments, be kind and, yeah, support me. That's all I ask. Guys. I'm so excited, though, honestly, I'm so excited and I'm hoping that it's going to be something that I can inspire someone else who wants to do it. We each one teach one and and inspire others. Oh, my god, do you know what? Okay, so there might be some guys that now do won't find me attractive, but then there's going to be a lot of guys that will find me hella attractive with my hair.

Speaker 1: 15:31

But I remember one time this is like maybe a little bit after lockdown when we came out of lockdown. So you know, we came out of lockdown and then you could start going to restaurants and stuff. There was this guy that I was, uh, talking to and he was an old person. I was talking to him years back and then basically he found me on hinge was it hinge or bumble, one of them and so we started talking again and, like I said, I used to wear my hair in mini twists and stuff.

Speaker 1: 15:58

And there was one time he came to see me and he was like, he saw my hair and he was like okay, um, so what is this something that you're gonna do? Like, like, like, are you eventually what you eventually gonna locks up your hair or something? And back then I didn't have intentions of locking up my hair. Maybe I'd thought about it, but it wasn't something that I thought I was really gonna do. So I was like oh no, I just wear my hair in twists. Sometimes he's like yeah, okay, yeah, because I don't like that. And I thought I remember thinking to myself you fucking jammy git, are you fucking serious? Okay, like, don't worry with that one.

Speaker 1: 16:35

The trash took itself out anyway, but it never. It stuck with me like, basically, if I was a, if I was a weaker person, I would be like, oh, I won't wear my hair like that then, because this motherfucker is basically telling me that he doesn't like it. I don't give a shit, babes Like, jog on then innit. But yeah, just wanted to say that. No, because guys, actually I haven't finished this conversation. What we're not going to do, put a finger down. We're back on. Put a finger down.

Speaker 1: 17:13

We are not letting people dictate what it is that we're doing. We are not letting people, especially someone Okay, it's not even an especially, but it is also an especially. You're not my man, you're not even family. I mean, it's not even an even family. You're not my man. So what you like and don't like has absolutely got nothing to do with me.

Speaker 1: 17:32

Right now, big man like, honestly, do you know what? Okay, let me be honest. Him say you're telling me that that's what you think. There's nothing wrong with that, because the great thing is is that I get to hear that and then do what I want with that information, then this is what I say let people be who they're gonna be, because if, because they're either gonna align align with you or they're not going to align with you, if he doesn't like locks, the best thing that he could have done is told me at that point, because then, going forward, then I can be like this person's not for me because they don't like natural hair, they don't like natural hairstyles. So, yeah, it's great, obviously I'm gonna have an opinion, so jog on in it, but what we're not gonna do is let people dictate what we want to do.

Speaker 1: 18:12

If there is something that you really, really want to do with your style and your appearance, ah, babes, please don't let someone else talk you out of doing what it is that you want to do. Oh babes, please don't let someone else talk you out of doing what it is that you want to do just because it's not for them. It's like there are loads of people that might say oh no, I don't like short hair, don't cut your hair. What, babes? If I'm going to cut my hair, I'm going to cut my hair like, honestly, I'm going to cut my hair. If I'm going to cut my hair, that's just, it is what it is like. Honestly, I'm going to cut my hair. If I'm going to cut my hair, that's just, it's what it is. It is what it is. You just you have to.

Speaker 1: 18:48

You have to make yourself happy and if that change, or whatever it is you want to do to to yourself or your you know the way you look, your style, your hair, your all of that. You want to wear makeup. If that's what makes you feel good's what you're gonna do, like, honestly, unless it's danger in yourself, unless you're harming yourself in some type of way or that something can bring harm to yourself, then, sorry, what? I know I can't hear you. I don't know what you're talking about. You're talking to the wrong person, bearing in mind, okay, so on monday I'm meeting up with some of my.

Speaker 1: 19:24

I'm meeting up with my group of friends that we hold each other accountable because we're all self-employed and everything. So I'm meeting up with them and we're having a goal setting afternoon session, coming together, talking about our goals and just really inspiring each other to keep going. But one thing and I'm so excited to share this with them because I heard this this week about the DO-IT method. So when you think of your goal, you apply the DO-IT method, and DO-IT is basically an acronym which stands for define the goal, outline the steps, initiate action and track progress. So for each goal that you have, you apply a do it method for it. And the person that was talking, the creator that was talking about this do it method. They had a diary, which I'm going to assume is their diary, that they're selling and everything, and. But they were just showcasing how they do it and they take that one goal and then defining the goal, so what that goal means to them outlining, outlining the steps, the steps of how they would get to their goal, initiating their actions, to like the actions that they're going to put in to the steps, and then what progress looks like.

Speaker 1: 20:42

And progress to everyone for their goals looks different. But it's that tracking that progress and I think for me personally, there's like we're all. Yeah, personally, for me, it's like I know what the goal is but not writing it down, and I think over the last couple of years I've not wrote my goals down as I used to. Or this is the goal and then you tick it off, but they're going through those steps of really breaking stuff down for each particular goal. I think it's going to be really helpful for me and I'm hoping that that will be something that's really helpful for you. So, when I really go through this process, I'll definitely share that with you, because this, I'm hoping that this is something that you guys will, you know, do and it will be helpful for you as well, because, yeah, I think that for me, I think that's a step that's missing, and I definitely think the track in the progress, like writing down the progress that happens with it, because it's so easy to forget the progress, and then, even if so you know, another thing that I think is really important to to track the wins. So, yeah, we're tracking the progress of what's happening, but actually tracking that.

Speaker 1: 21:52

It went. And my friend my friend, he's probably not even going to listen to this, but he actually, not last year, but the year before bought me a calendar, a wall calendar, and he said write down all the things that you're doing, because you think you're not doing a lot, like you actually like, oh, you know I'm not doing much. But he said, when you, when you start writing down all the workshops that you're doing and the speaking things that you're doing and you write them down and then at the end of the year, you look at your like raw Amida did I? I done all of that and that's exactly what I did and that it's so funny because I've done that for 2023, but I didn't do it for 2024, I didn't do it for 2024, and it made me feel so good at the end of the year when I could look at that diary and I could look at that board and say this is all the things that I've done for this year, even like putting them in beforehand, and this is all everything that I'm gonna be doing, like, let me write that going. Let me write that going. So I definitely do. You know what? I'm gonna go on Amazon and order that that wall planner now and actually do that, because that was really important for for 2023.

Speaker 1: 22:58

Um, I don't know, I feel like I floated through last year, guys. Honestly, I feel like I don't know. I feel like I was there obviously just in a daze, just floating in a daze, trying to make it all make sense, and I had a good year. But I think what's gonna really make it all make sense and bring it all together is really focusing on my goals, for my goals are bigger. They're so much bigger this year than they were last year and they need to be tracked because, especially with the you know, self-diagnosing myself with ADHD it's hard to keep track of everything that's going on. It's hard to keep track of the ideas that just pop in from week to week in my mind.

Speaker 1: 23:53

I feel like this year, my one of my biggest goals is to really start journaling again and really start writing stuff down. I feel like I haven't written. I feel like I just haven't written in ages. I feel like before the end of this, I feel like I just haven't written in ages. I feel like before the end of this year, I need to write a letter to myself. I don't know what I'm gonna write. I'm just just start writing, just write something, just pen to paper and just write whatever comes to your head. That's what I'm gonna do. But yeah, do you know? Know what I want to?

Speaker 1: 24:24

Wish you guys an absolutely magnificent 2025, whatever that means to you, whatever it is that you plan on doing, whatever you want to achieve, whatever you want to leave behind, whatever you want to let go of just all the things that you want. I wish, I wish it all for you. I hope you get everything that is that you want have an amazing year, have good intentions, have be kind, kind to yourself, kind to other people, but, more importantly, kind to yourself. Put yourself first. Put yourself on that fucking pedestal, because you're flipping amazing and if you ain't, I ain't talking to you. You can keep scrolling, can't you? Put yourself on a pedestal, babes, and just, yeah, have fun. Have fun, laugh more. Oh, put that on your goals list. To just laugh more, to sing more, to dance more, to just bring joy into your life, to just be open, to move your body and just feel free. There's so many things that can easily come in and stress you and do what you can to put yourself in a good space, to just feel good every day. And, with that said, happy 2025.

Speaker 1: 25:55

When it comes in a few days, guys. Uh, peace out, a town down west side is the best side. Do I believe that you guys know what time it is? Of course not, but what I do know for sure is that, wherever I'm at, the vibe's out and yeah, danny Dawks is going to continue bringing the vibe in 2025. Because that's just what I do best and I'm going to keep doing what it is that I do best. And, yeah, we'll see you on the next episode of the soap revelation podcast.