EP 97: You Prayed For This… So Why Are You Complaining Now?

You ever catch yourself moaning about the exact thing you once begged for? Yeah… same.
This episode is your reality check and reminder to stop acting brand new when your blessings finally show up.

I’m breaking down:
• Why we complain about the things we manifested
• How to check your mindset before it derails your progress
• The morning habits actually keeping you grounded
• Using humour and honesty to stay connected to yourself
• How to find your real voice — not the watered-down version
• Why authenticity is your biggest asset, especially as a creator, speaker or host

If this hits, share it with someone who needs the reminder.
And if you’re new here, welcome to The Sew Flipping Extra Podcast, where we tell the truth, laugh through the madness, and level up without pretending.

🔔 Subscribe if you're ready to show up like the version of you you've been talking about.
🎙️ Follow @isitdanidawks for more.

Chapters

• 0:00 From Prayers To Complaints
• 2:57 Write It Down And Reframe
• 4:45 Setting The Scene And Intention
• 7:45 Showing Up Through A Slump
• 9:59 Back To Meditation And Gratitude
• 13:15 Why Gratitude Changes Your State
• 17:22 Announcing The Becoming Series
• 20:10 Finding Proof You’re Already Doing It
• 25:12 Be Louder About Your Wins
• 28:21 Speaking Tips: Be Yourself First

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

The things that you pray for will be the things that you eventually start complaining about. And if it resonates with you, it resonates with you. And if it doesn't, that message wasn't for you. But for someone, the things you complain about now are the things that one day you prayed for. You said, I can't wait until when I get there, I will. I can't wait to get there because that's when I've won. And then you complain about it. And I'm not even gonna lie, I heard that yesterday, and I was like, ooh. Yeah. I've done that. I can't even lie. I don't ever want to come up on my platform and act like I'm perfect because we're all learning together. I've done it. I want to be booked and busy. And then the next minute you find yourself saying, I'm so tired, I'm so busy. Did you didn't you just ask for that last week? And then the universe said, Okay, here you are, I will do that for you. And now you're complaining. Do you know what we have to do? We have to write it down. Write it down what exactly what it is that you want, and put it somewhere that you can see it every day. Maybe you put it on your nightstand, maybe you put it on the mirror, somewhere that you can see it every day. Because you might wake up and you might be like, oh god, I've got to go get on a plane today to go to friggin' America, eight-hour flight. How long is America? I can't remember. I've got to go on this eight-hour flight, and I'm just so tired because I haven't slept. And then you look at the mirror and you see your goals. I want to be international, traveling around the world weekly. Yeah, that's what I said. I want to be on a plane weekly traveling for work. You catch yourself. That complaint hits different now. Like, no, I get to do this. Change change the terminology. I get to do this. I don't have to do it. I asked for this. So now I get to do it. Remember what it is that you asked for. Write it down, take a picture. I don't give a fuck. But remember because one day, those these things today that you're praying for, one day you might catch yourself. And I hope you catch yourself really quickly complaining about it. And to have the to have the opportunity to complain about the things that you asked for when you catch yourself, is like I get to do this. But catch yourself before so you can just keep the alignments going and keep more stuff coming to you. Do you know? Let's start this episode. Hi guys, welcome to another episode of the So Flip and Extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore, and connect. And be so flipping extra. Why I hear you ask? Well, baby, that's what brings me joy. So without further ado, let's get into this episode because you'll never guess what. I made notes. I've got notes of the things that I want to say, and I don't want to miss anything out, and it's gonna be a good episode. So make sure you stay tuned and make sure you come back and make sure you telephones, you know what to do. So you're gonna notice setup's a little bit different today in many ways than one. We what you can't notice, I am in my bedroom, but I'm in my bedroom because my heating mattress is on, the weather has dipped, and I'm I'm wearing my I'm wearing my snitty, I'm comfortable, and yeah, I could have gotten all dressed up and you know made myself look cute and all of that. I literally just slipped off my headscarf. And I don't need to tell you that, I'm not telling you that to be like, don't look at my appearance. Maybe I am, maybe that's exactly what I'm doing. Don't look at don't don't look at my hair. But it is what it is. The message is the message, the message is messaging, and whatever I'm saying, I'm still saying it no matter what I'm wearing. And I feel like if you do follow me on social media, you'll realize that I just show up, I just show up the way I show up. Some days it looks cute, some days it looks like I just I just got out of the gym. That hasn't happened in a while because I haven't been in the gym for a while. Touchy story, but we're not gonna go there. And yeah, sometimes it looks absolutely fabulous. But one thing I've noticed is that I feel like at the moment I'm not showing up more, and people have noticed this. Like, there's so many people that are saying, Oh, I haven't seen you posting, I thought I'd check up on you, is everything okay? And I'm really figuring it out. There are some days where I'm like, What the hell am I doing? Am I even doing it? Is anything even doing? What is going on? And remember what I was saying a minute ago, the things that you asked for, I am axing, and I'm really trying to put myself into alignment. Not trying, I am putting myself into alignment on the things that I want, and sometimes that confusion can keep you stagnant. So it's just really important to just keep doing what it is that you love. And I I get sad syndrome, so the weather's dipped, I just don't feel like anything right now. I just don't feel like doing anything. Also, you know, when reality kicks in and you need to have your head here, sometimes the the goals and the dreams kind of they can get put to the side because you're like, I really want to manifest all of this, but right now the reality is kicking my ass, and that's where I'm at. What I've started doing is I've gone back into meditation, I've gone back into journaling, and I've gone back into gratitude every single day. And I think I'm on day 11 now, so every morning, at least 10 minutes of meditation. Um every night I'm writing down all the things that I'm grateful for, and then also in the morning after my meditation, I'm journaling. And in the last, you know, 10 to 11 days of doing that, I'm seeing, I'm just not even seeing, I just feel a lot more connected, I feel a lot more grounded. One thing that is apparent is gratitude journaling for me is so important because when I first started on my journey, and I talk about, I feel like I talk about gratitude a lot on here, but when I first started on my journey, I was writing gratitude every day. I was going, I was cleaning up the other day, and I was finding these notebooks, all random notebooks, and some of them have been started as my gratitude journal, and I haven't finished them. Pages, 10 things I'm grateful for, 10 things I'm grateful for, 10 things I'm grateful for. I stay in gratitude, I stay grateful, and it just makes me feel good. I definitely feel like it aligns you and brings more to you when you stay grateful. The universe sees that and it says, You're you're grateful for this, I'm gonna give you more. But it also just makes you feel really good, like you feel good, it feels good to be grateful and recognize other people when they've done something for you or opportunities that have come to you. It also makes you realise that if this is coming to me, I must be a good person. So it keeps you in alignment with yourself and feeling good about yourself. If you were gonna start one new thing today, whether it was meditation, journaling, just writing down your thoughts, or gratitude journaling, I would say start with gratitude journaling because there is no way that you can't just find three things that you're grateful for. If you are a newbie to this, start off with three. Three things every day that you're grateful for. But if you've been doing this, get to 10. And if you get past 10, listen, just keep going. All the things every day that you can be grateful for, they can be massive big things or they can be small things, but just do it. Stay in gratitude because when you stay in gratitude, you people will come to you with bullshit, and you're just in a alignment of gratitude. Like it's like water off a duck's back. I can't feel that. I'm in gratitude right now. You can't piss me off. I stay grateful. Good things come to me every single day, every moment, all the time, so that even when the bad things come, oh you slipped through. That's okay. Because good things come to me all the time. Every day. I've got I've got accolades of things that I'm grateful for. You can't hurt me, you can't piss me off. Oh, you want to take that away? It's cool. Something else is gonna come because I stay grateful. Good things come to me every single day. Okay, so as you guys know, I started. Oh, I'm such a loser. I'm not, I'm not. Be mindful of the way you talk about yourself. I started a series that I haven't actually started yet. Okay, okay, okay. I said it. You guys hold me accountable. My new YouTube series is gonna be live next week. Let's put it that way. Maybe I'll maybe it will go live on Friday because I've already got the content, content in my drafts anyway. But I started a series about becoming a presenter. I spoke about it on the episode last week. So if you are interested, go listen to that. If you're just interested in what come do it, just go listen to that anyway. Whether or not you want to become a presenter, just go, just how about you just go support? Just because I asked anyway. But nervous laugh, don't do that. I'm serious, go support. So I'm starting a series about becoming a presenter, and it is my journey on really, really taking the ball by the motherfucking horns and doing this presenter thing. I've been talking about it since I was a teen that I want to be a presenter. I've been talking about it hardcore for like what the last definitely the last two years. I think everyone that knows me knows that, yeah, Dan's, she's doing that shit. And even in the last 10 years, it's been I've been dribbling it out. The reason why I stopped pursuing it as a dream was after I had my son, who's now 19, I thought I can't do this. I just I've got to be a mum, I gotta reality kick in in it. Like, I've got to be a mum, I gotta get a normal job. Oh man, if someone had told me what I know now, listen. And yeah, I just put the dream to the side. I was also doing uh performing arts at the time, I wanted to be in theatre, and it is so beautiful to see Callie really getting into theatre and singing and dancing and everything. So that's we just put that there for now. But I'm like, yeah, she went to see Hamilton this week, and she said after Hamilton they came out and were speaking to the students because it must have been like a student mane thing. Um they were speaking to the students who had come to watch the show about become being on in theatre and performing arts and singing and all of that stuff. And I said, Okay, I said, is that something you want to do? Because she sings, she's been singing for years anyway. And she said, Yeah, and I said, Okay, listen, she has my full support because I definitely feel like if I had had that support when I was doing performing arts, I would have I definitely would have made it. That's a whole nother story. Not a bad story, but support support from your parents and the ones you love and people telling you could do this, the same support I gave to Kaydon in his sports sports world is this is the same support, if not even more, that Kali would get. So, yeah. And I say if not more because K's Kay's doing this thing, innit? Like he knows this thing now. As now, as a new an a new mum at this girl age, starting again, whatever, I know I can do even more. I can support even more, and uh yeah, she's got it, she's absolutely got it. But where was I becoming a presenter, and I and I also changed my changing my terminology. Maybe I'll call it something else, but I just want to call it becoming so that anyone who is also interested in becoming or on a journey of doing something, especially if it is around presenting, talking, hosting, that they can find my content and be like, I like that, that's really interesting. I want to follow this girl and see what she's saying and learn from her. But last week when I was talking on the episode of the Sophie Penetra podcast, I was saying that I'm not becoming, I've been doing this, and one of my journal entries this week was about finding evidence of that it's already happened. Because a lot of the time we we are trying to move into something, we're trying to become something, we're trying to do something, and when we're trying trying to do something, that means that it's not we're not doing it, it's not been done. If I say, Oh, I'm becoming a presenter, I'm becoming a host, then that does that mean that I'm not already doing it because because contrary to that, would show that uh baby girl's been doing this, okay. Remember, there is proof. You are asking for things that you all have already have proof of receiving. You are a presenter, you are a speaker, and you are a host. You've had your own podcast for two years. Before that, you created the So Flippin' Extra live show on Instagram where you were interviewing guests weekly about their businesses during lockdown. Do you remember that? Yeah, because I did that. You have spoken on the spring clean stage at the Idol Show, at the Idol Home Show for three years in a row. Do you remember that I've done that? You have hosted the extra stage for two years in a row at the clean and tidy home show, and now it is called the inspirational stage, and you have hosted that stage, which is also the main stage, as well as in as well as hosted the award show last year and introducing and opening up the award show this year, 2025. I did that. Do you know that? I did. You have hosted panel talks just the other day. You done one for the Sustainable Fashion Week Crystal Palace, which was for Sustainable Fashion Week. I did that, yeah? Okay, you have been on plenty of other panels as a speaker for speaking on sustainability and creativity. I'm an expert in what I do. I've done it multiple times over the last this is all over since after lock all of this is lockdown post. Yeah? So what's that in the last five years? And I'd say a lot of it is really in the last four years. You have hosted up cycling events for Nike plenty of times. I have done like a good few times, and through Nike, I've also done Tottenham football, where I've been where I've where I've been the lead, I've been the lead seamstress. The Tottenham sew team where I had a team of sewers that worked for me. I hosted that, I hosted that workshop. England football team, I hosted that workshop and I had a team that I had I had to recruit a team to come and work with me. For in the England football team. And we met the England players, we met the Tottenham players. Yeah? I I did that. I've hosted I also did for Nike a Halloween kids show, which was in Westfields, West London, and I also did a in oh my god, god, I've I've actually done more than I can think of. I've been in the Nike flagship store, which I used to work in there like back when I was like in my 20s. There was a workshop where we took yeah, there was a workshop at that store. That was a two-day workshop, and then there was also the Nike like their their summer party. I was gonna say summer Christmas party, their summer party. I hosted that. All of those workshops I've hosted for for Nike, yeah? Okay, cool, whatever. I did that. Um, I've also hosted upcycling events at Google. Did you even know that? I don't think a lot of you don't know that one. I don't know why. I have hosted upcycling workshops or been part of an upcycling workshop for Ecova, and I've hosted workshops uh for Sustainable Fashion Week Brighton. I've done so much more that is not on this list because I've done so much. Okay, and breathe. Remember who you are, remember what you have done, trust in yourself and trust the process. You've got this. That was my journal entry. I think that was on Friday. I wrote that. Remember who you are, and remember there is proof that you have done this. So for me to be sitting here saying, I want to be a presenter, I want to be a host, I want to host this, I want to be on stages, I want to be international. Oh, hang on a second. I did host the upcycling workshop in Ghana. I'm international. Find proof and lean into that. It could be the smallest thing. Okay, I hosted an upcycling workshop in Ghana for my friends. We all went to Ghana and we all hosted a workshop while we were over there. How does gratitude is gratitude no matter how big or how small? A workshop is a workshop no matter who you do it for. International is international no matter where you go. Sorry, baby. Find proof and believe. If I can do it at that level, then I can do it at that level, then I can do it at that level. I can fucking do it because I've done it, and here's the proof that it's been done, and I did it. Stop playing yourself. Note a self. Stop playing yourself. Stop. Oh god, I heard something today. The reason you're not making money is because you're not loud enough. Ooh. The reason you're not making money is because you are not loud enough. Not because you can't do it. How many of them things did I say that none of you lot knew that I did it? I did it, I've done it, I'm doing it. It's not that I can't make the money, it's not that I can't be a presenter, it's not that I can't speak on stages, it's not that I can't get the booking deals, it's not that I can't um get brand deals, it's that you lot don't even know that I can do it. I'm not loud enough. Sometimes the person that is making the most impact, they don't even have as much qualifications as you, and I say that in a sense of they ain't even done as much as you. But shit, that little thing that they did, everyone knows they did it. They shouted it from the fucking rooftops, mate. Everyone knows that they did it. You can't tell them nothing, they know their source. Mmm, yep, sweet and sour with a little bit of honey pepper. I don't even know what that is. I don't know, it's the first thing that came to my head. They're swinging from the trees, letting everyone know what they did. So it's not that you can't, it's just that you not you can do it more and you can be louder about it. Oh my goodness. Be prepared to be sick of me because I need to scream. I need to scream, I've got proof, and all the proof ain't even on that piece of paper. There's so much more, so so so much more. Oh, okay. There was something I wanted to talk about. There was actually, I don't know if this is for this episode or if this is for the becoming series, but I got asked this week of like, how do you if you're nervous about speaking or presenting or like even just being on panels? Like I come across so many people that they're like, oh my god, I'm so nervous, I'm so shy, I don't know what to do, do and I give them the same advice. There's two, there's actually two lots of advice that I give. Be yourself. I know it sounds simple, but most people will get on that stage and they become someone else. I've been privy to be able to watch them. And I'm like, that's not the same person that was just talking to me off stage. And you know, if you're if you're a effing blinder, and you know you're like, well, I can't. Obviously, you can't get on stage and say stuff like that, but there's person your personality is can still stay. I I can have the potty, pottiest mouth of potties, like bare shit in that potty, but when I get on stage, I'm not gonna swear, but you definitely know it's me talking, it's the same energy, and I think what happens is that a lot of people wanna act articulate, and you know how I can say that because I tried that shit. I tried it when I first got the call to be on the ideal home show. I was like, oh my god, oh my god, the idol home show. Everyone's mum and man go to the idol home show. This is massive. At the time, the idol home show was the massivest thing that I've done. And I was like, This is this is huge. I need to, I need to impress and I need to make sure that I sound great for the people that go to the idol home show. In my brain, I don't know, middle-aged white people. That's that's who I was talking to. And so I remember the first couple times I spoke, and I just, it's like I was so in my brain, all I was thinking is you've got to sound articulate, you've got to sound articulate, you've got to sound articulate. And I remember saying this to one of my friends, and she's like, I don't know what you mean. I think you're very articulate. And I was like, no, no, no, but I just I need to sound speaky spoky like like this. And after a couple of I don't know, I don't know if it was that same year or the next year that it really hit home to me, like, what the what what are you doing? It must have been that same year, because I was I was down there for about maybe three different days. So at least by the second, second and a half day, I I got it. I was like, nah, because um it's like I felt like I was forgetting what I was saying because the other side of my brain was so fixated on sounding good, and my best talk uh that that particular year was the last was the last day. My mum came down, I had most of my friends and family come down, my aunts were there, and I kept it real, loosened the shoulders, and I was Danny. I stepped on that stage and I was Danny. So if you know me, you I did not sound any different. I was Danny. I was like, hey guys, who are going? What's going on? What's up? Right, today this is what's gonna happen. And I remember stepping off thinking, that's it. I I found my voice. My voice is me. I can't, my voice is me. There's a couple things. Just be yourself, be be you, and just want to sound like you. I want to get off stage and I want people to be like, she's exactly who she is on social media. When people tell me that I feel so big, I feel massive because I've done the right thing. I want you to see me outside, on stage, wherever, on TV, and be like, she is the same person that she is in her stories because it goes down in the stories. In the stories is where you really see Danny, and that's what they say. And I was like, Yeah, boom, I've done it, I've done it. That's it, that's all I need to know. Also, how can you be nervous about things that you know? Either you're faking the whole thing and you don't know what you're talking about, or you do. If you know what you're talking about, just speak on what you know and start trying to add to it. That was another thing I tried to do when I first started. Oh, I'm gonna speak on obviously sustainability and re re-wearing and reusing and you know, upcycling clothes. Oh, I need to know how many piles, how many tons go to landfill every year. I've got ADHD, I don't even remember what happened yesterday. I okay, I slept most of the day. I was in bed. Oh no, I did market research. Do you see? I came out of my house, went and done market research and came back home again. But there's me, I slept. But I there's certain things that you can't remember. If if you have an opportunity, you can have cards, but I don't like looking down because I feel like I'm gonna lose my place if I um while I'm looking down, or you have a clicker, or you practice. I can't practice because there's unauthenticity in me practicing, and it makes me feel icky, I don't like it. So just speak on what you know. The message is gonna message, people are gonna get it or they're not, they're interested or they're not. And and you know what's gonna happen? People buy you before they buy your product, so they buy you as your personality before they even give a shit about what you're talking about, and if they buy you, they're interested, and then I want to follow you to find out more if they give a shit, if they even vibes with you, but the vibe comes first. That's my belief, anyway. Last tip make them laugh really quickly on, make them laugh, and that's that's my go-to. Humor is my love language. If I'm ever thinking like I don't know what to do, I feel a little bit discombobulated. I'm gonna put on a comedy. Nate, he's my comedian that I duh. He gets all my time at the moment. Oh, he's so funny. He does like roast, like he just roasts the crowd for like an hour. But and I watch it on YouTube if you want the link, hello, you know. But humor is my love language. I want to make people laugh and I want to make them feel good. So, yeah, they didn't come to see a comedy show, they came to we came to talk about sustainability, but in some way I'm gonna make them laugh, and that is usually gonna happen within the first minute of me getting on stage. The first minute, and I let them know, guys, I think I'm funny. This has nothing to do with sustainability, but I'll be like, guys, I think I'm funny, so if it sounds like a punchline, feel free to laugh. Already they're laughing. You're welcome, you've just had a good time. I know that we're in for an amazing day, guys. And that's my thing. So find your thing. What's your thing? Maybe you want to make them laugh. Maybe you want to start with the sad story because I know when I was wanting to be a motivational speaker, I say wanting to, I definitely still do that. I think I'm very motivational. Stop it. But when I was really wanting to be a motivational speaker, and I was researching motivational speakers and how it works and what they do, a lot of them what they do is they start with the sad story, so they bring the tone down. I nearly died. They tell you about that story, how they nearly died, da-da-da-da, the dog got run over, and then he came back to life, and everyone's like, he's amazing. So you pick your one, pick your one. Do you wanna do you wanna, you know, kind of milk their sobbers? Or do you wanna like milk their happy ducks? I don't know, duh. What is this? What is this? What are we doing? Oh, we're milking them, we're milking them. Either we're making them laugh or making them cry first, but then we bring them back in the room and then we go, pow, this is my information, and then at the end they love you or they hate you, and whether they love you or hate you. We want them to love you, but if they hate you, whatever. The message wasn't for you, and I'm not for you, it is when it is, but yeah, that is that the end of no, that can't be the end of the episode. Yeah, that's it. I feel like I've said a lot, and I feel like I've said everything, so ain't nothing more to say. Peace out, eight times out. West side is the best side. Do I believe that? Hmm, West Side. I don't know. Most of the time, not all the time, but what I do know is wherever the vibe's at is where I'm at. And the vibe is always vibing. And another thing I want to add don't match their energy. I know we have this thing, is yeah, if you go low, I'm gonna go lower. I'm not, I'm not, I'm such a high vibrational being. I ain't matching your energy because your energy is shit. You're not a nice person, and I'm a fucking good person. I'm a very nice person. There's no way I can I can't even match that energy, even if I tried. It's not in me to be such little shit. So don't match their energy. Stay high, stay vibe. Because because you can't even match their energy, they can't even come around you no more. And that is the winner. You don't have access to me anymore. You can't get close. There is a barrier. My frequency is his and yours is here. We ain't the same. I'm not matching energy. I'm staying high all the time. All day or day, baby. Tell a friend to tell a friend. If you enjoyed this episode, definitely like and share. Definitely share. Definitely tell someone. Have you listened to Danny D's podcast? Danny D, where did that come from? Danny Dizzle, Finizzle, Mashizzle. Have you heard her podcast? She's banging. Let's get her on a show. Let's get her over here because she's friggin' amazing. If you don't know, you better get to know. Okay, that's all. Because I could go on and on and on. And on and on and on and on. That's all. Alright, love you guys. Bye.