EP 89: No One Cares As Much As You Think—Post It Anyway!

Ever stopped yourself from posting because your hair looked “a mess”? Or filmed a banger video and never hit upload because you thought people might judge? Yeah… we’re calling that out today.

In this episode of Sew Flipping Extra, we’re talking delusional confidence and reminding ourselves that no one actually cares as much as we think they do. Not your followers, not your family, not Sandra from work who necked off with 3 guys... (dont ask...)

From showing up in bonnets to filming on the bus, I’m breaking down the fears that stop us from being seen, and why you need to post the damn thing anyway. Plus: why building a community that loudly cheers for you is vital when you're a solo biz baddie doing it all on your own.

So whether you’re holding back on content, waiting to be “perfect,” or just need a hype check—this one’s for you.

Chapters

• 0:00 Delusional Confidence for Season Three
• 1:46 No One Cares As Much As You Think
• 4:00 Stop Blocking Your Blessings
• 6:49 Building Your Supportive Community
• 10:41 Cheering For Yourself When Others Don't

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

and just like that we are back. I did miss a week after we started season three, but you know what things happen, but the main thing is is that you show up. So, as you guys know, if you have been following for season three, this season is about delusional confidence and just just going for it, just doing it, just doing the thing. That is the thing, and the goal for this season is to change our mindsets and just do it anyway. Just go figure it out, figure out what we want to do, what we want to have, what we want to be, and just go for it, no matter what. Nothing's standing in our way.

Speaker 1: 0:42

And this episode I wanted to talk about the fact that no one cares as much as you think that they care, and we've spoken about this episode before. This ain't nothing new. Someone made a comment on my Instagram and I thought, okay, okay, girl. But this is a very important conversation, especially with people who are showing up on social media, or I should say, who want to show up on social media, because when you want to show up on social media or your content is about showing up and putting content out there, and especially putting your face to camera there's definitely a barrier that can stop you from doing it as much as you want to do it, and doing it properly, the way it needs to be done. So let's start the, let's start the what we starting. Let's do the introduction and let's get into this episode.

Speaker 1: 1:36

Hi guys, welcome to another episode of the so flippin extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore and connect and be so flippin extra. Why are you up? Well, babes, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado, extra. Why are you up? Well, babes, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado, let's get into this episode and, literally, let's talk about the fact that no one gives a shit as much as you think that they give a shit. Let's go, yeah. So I've done a post this week and it was just basically saying exactly what I'm saying no one cares as much as you think they care. So when you guys show up online and I say you guys, because usually, most of the time, when I'm saying having this conversation, especially about this particular part that I'm going to talk about, I say note to self I'm always talking to myself. Whenever I say anything on this, on this platform, I am usually talking to myself and it's a message to myself, because it's my experience and my growth and my learning. But this one I don't do. And I only don't do it because I made a conscious effort, probably a few years ago, to stop doing it, even within my business. But we'll get to that maybe, if I remember.

Speaker 1: 2:37

But when you come on your camera, you open up your phone and you start talking and say, hi guys, sorry, my hair looks a mess. No one cares. And you know what? Sometimes you, some of you, are funny because you know your hair don't even look a mess. You know your hair don't even look a mess. Oh, please stop it. We don't even care. We don't care that your hair looks a mess, we don't care that you have just woken up, we don't care that you don't have no makeup on more time. Most people wouldn't have noticed.

Speaker 1: 3:03

If you have a message to give and that message is I don't know it's a good message and your delivery is great, no one's gonna pick point anything else that you're saying in your message, but also maybe they are. A lot of people are. People will watch your video. They won't like your video and they won't comment and they won't say anything, but they'll definitely notice that you had a hole in the shoulder of your top with that said. So fucking what? That's the god's honest truth. Maybe they actually do really care. Maybe they care enough that they are going to say something because they're assholes. Because, honestly, the amount of things I see online people's dirty walls, people's dirty fridges like what's that saying? People in glass houses should not throw stones. Because a lot of those people that have something to say online about other people and other people's living quarters and other people's houses and faces and hair and nails and however they look, they don't even show, show up online. And you know why they don't show up online? For that same reason. But some of them are quick to say something. But your main thing is let people say what they're gonna say. Let them say it. Who cares? Who cares what anyone thinks? It is what it is. But some of you lot are blocking your blessings and at this point I say us.

Speaker 1: 4:28

Some of us are blocking our blessings because there are some times that I don't show up online. It might not be because I look a mess, because I show up any day that I wake up and I still got my bonnet on sleeping, my eye crust around my mouth. White mouth? No, I don't do white mouth, I don't. You know that seal in your mouth there when you are clearly thirsty and haven't eaten. I don't do that one. But I show up rough.

Speaker 1: 4:51

But there are some times I might be walking out in the street and I want to do a quick video, but I'm like everyone's watching me and then sometimes I'm not and I'm practicing more just to take my phone out and do it. Because I used to do it, take my phone out, do it. I used to definitely do a lot more before and I don't know, it's like, as I've gotten older, I've been like, fuck it, I don't care. But then also, as I've gotten older, I've been like, fuck it, I don't care that much. So it's, everything is a working process, but we're blocking our blessings. Guys, honestly, the world needs us and I'm I feel right now I'm mostly talking to my peers, my, my older women, but we still look good, let's not get interested. My mums, my, I don't know like, just people like me that we are.

Speaker 1: 5:40

We do want to show up online and I know like I show up online a lot, but I would definitely show up online a lot more. One if I probably had people to help me edit, because I can't do it all myself, I'm tired. But also two, if I wasn't like everyone on the bus is watching me. Sometimes I want to take my phone out on the bus and just start talking, but everyone's going to be like don't look at me. Innit, like it's all right when you didn't look at me, but now everyone's looking. I'm like stupid and shy. But we got to work on that, let's work on it. But this is why we're here. This is why we want people to hear and whether that is a serious message.

Speaker 1: 6:19

You might be a comedian Maybe yours isn't even a message, but you just got a skill that you really want to share with people and that might be entertaining people and doing funny comedy and skits and sketches. But you're not, because you're too worried about one, what the people around you are going to say, sometimes, what the people who you live with. What about one, what the people around you're going to say sometimes, what the people who you live with, what your family's going to say, what your kids are going to say. But also, after you post it, you're worried about what the people that follow you are going to say, and a lot of. For a lot of us, it's our friends and family. Are they even going to support me? That's a serious question, and that also takes us on to the next part of this episode that we're going to be talking about. Is it's really important to have your community show up for you loud and proud, and not everyone can do that for you, and it doesn't mean that they don't support you, but some people just can't because it's not their dream. Remember that, it's not their dream.

Speaker 1: 7:18

As someone who is a solo I don't really call myself a solo entrepreneur. Maybe because I don't call myself an entrepreneur, maybe in my brain I guess I see an entrepreneur, and what entrepreneur is like. You know they're driving like a couple cars and you know big houses and big fancy things. And I'm not not her, but as a solo businesswoman, life gets lonely, life could get really lonely, and it's really important to have people that are going to cheer loudly for you, because it's hard to cheer for yourself and that's something I'm learning to about. You know. Fuck being humble. I did that. Two peas in a bucket, fuck it, I did that and it's it's all good until it's just like not anymore.

Speaker 1: 8:12

Do you know I'm saying it's so nice to have people cheer for you and when you have a job you have things like work promotions. You know the boss is like, ah, so and so, done this this week, let's cheer them. And everyone's like, yay, everyone in the office, they're the office person of the week or the office person of the month. You know there's birthday parties, so people get celebrated throughout the year. So, and so's birthday. We're going out this weekend. We're all going to buy so-and-so drinks.

Speaker 1: 8:37

It's your work family and the work family is so important In all my jobs. I've loved my work family, like literally. They are family for life, until they're not anymore. And they're also people that, although I might not speak to them and haven't spoken to them in like the last five years, trust and know that's my family. Do you know what I'm saying? But you know you don't. You don't get that as a solo entrepreneur. You don't get that work meeting. You don't get that skive in the common room or the skive in the warehouse. The skive in the warehouse Gap skives were the bomb you don't get. Oh, nike Town. After work parties, nike Town parties chef's kiss were the best. When I was in Asda's I definitely used to skive because I started seeing my children's dad then and I used to go into the warehouse and skive in the warehouse for ages.

Speaker 1: 9:28

I can't. If I skive, it's only me, like it's just. Who am I skyping with? And luckily I do have someone in my building who I'm very close with. Um, you know, we hang out together, but it's different, it's not the same as just that, that community of people that you work with. You know gossiping by the, by the vending machine, about sandra, because at the last staff party she was like necking on with like two mandem in the toilets, do you know I'm saying? And then one outside, and then matey's friend who came him as well. Do you know I'm saying because she's a slag, I don't really know Sandra the slag, but do you know I'm saying those were the fun times that you don't get.

Speaker 1: 10:07

But the main point I was making, because I've definitely gone off track, is you just don't get that applaud on a regular of the great things that you've done, because when you're sitting up in your studio on your own day to day, no one sees you and unless you put it online, no one sees what you do. And my online family, you guys, are key because you guys cheer for me if you even see my post, because the algorithm is algorithming, not. So you know, if you guys see me, you guys definitely cheer for me and I appreciate that so much because, other than that, what? So it's definitely important to build your community. So even your friends and family have those ones that you know that they are gonna boost you up. Like, I've got a friendship group and in this friendship group we're all solo entrepreneurs and we highlight each other. So if I put my stuff in that group, I know I'm going to get an applaud if I put my stuff in that group. But also, if I don't put my stuff in that group, I know there's someone else in that group that if they've seen it, they're going to put that shit in that group and say, did you see what Danny done this week? Guys, oh my God, shit in that group. And say, did you see what danny done this week, guys, oh my god, baby girls doing x, y, z and we're highlighting each other.

Speaker 1: 11:14

And it's so important because I'm not even gonna lie, I check, I look at my phone, I'm like and I feel so good, it's so, feels so amazing to be highlighted by those around you to see what you're doing. Oh, my light has just turned off. Are you serious? Don't do that again, okay, maybe, hopefully barry's not like. So that's my message to you. Um, definitely build your community, but do I have another light here? Right, listen, that was. That was techie. This is gonna look so different, but it is what it is. We move, yeah, we move, and we don't let it affect our gangsta.

Speaker 1: 11:57

Just, genuinely is really important to get people who cheer for you loudly and cheer for you without you having to ask for it, because that's the hardest thing is having to ask and say hey, guys, I did this, don't you think it's amazing? And then you're seeing like, oh yeah, that's so cool. Anyways, did you see what happened in the news? Like it's, it honestly feels like you're not seen and that's fine, I'm learning, but that's fine. It's fine not to be seen, but you just make sure you gravitate to where you do feel seen and just thrive. Baby.

Speaker 1: 12:40

Now, honestly, just keep going and even if the world didn't see you and the world didn't cheer for you, it's time to really start cheering for yourself and just going. Peace out, a-town down West side is the best side. Do I believe that. Well, not really, but what I do know and believe and trust is that, wherever I'm at the vibe's at and the vibe's here, we're here every Sunday, maybe not always, but we're here, and I'm going to keep going and I'm going to keep showing up and I'm going to keep cheering For me.