EP 82: Don’t Let Desperation Derail Your Destination

In this episode of Sew Flipping Extra, I get real about criticism, desperation, and the slippery slope of forgetting how far you’ve come. From dropping F-bombs to unpacking gratitude with raw honesty, I remind you why not every opinion matters, especially when it's coming from someone you don’t admire or respect.

I talk about:

• Filtering feedback and protecting your energy
• The truth about chasing the next big thing
• Staying grounded in gratitude, even when life’s loud
• Moving goalposts (and forgetting you once prayed for this life)

Plus, a little reminder not to let desperation change your destination, because peace is a vibe, and we’re not losing it for anyone.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing a lot but it’s still not enough, this one’s for you. It's real, it’s raw, and as always, it’s flipping extra.

Chapters

• 0:00 Only Value Criticism From Those You Respect
• 3:06 Being Authentic On My Platform
• 7:15 Staying In Gratitude
• 11:00 Don't Let Desperation Change Your Path
• 14:32 Finding Your Inner Peace

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

So for a few years I've realised this fact to be absolutely, 100% true and I want to know what you guys think. You can't take criticism to heart from people you don't admire and respect. I really, really want to know what you think about this, because when I realised, this, so much changed for me. Because we get offended. All too often we get offended by someone's opinion of us. They don't know us. Sometimes people who we don't even like give us their opinion. And you know, you're like I don't even like you. Why are you telling me what you think of me? Because baby girl, baby boy, if only you knew what you. Why are you telling me what you think of me? Because baby girl, baby boy, if only you knew what I thought about you. Like.

Speaker 1: 0:49

However, my mum always told me if you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't say nothing at all. So sometimes I have thoughts and I ain't gonna tell you, because it's none of your business what I think about you. Sometimes you gotta play your cards close to your chest. You can't tell everyone what you think about them. One, because, is it, do you have to tell them? Two, sometimes it might not be nice. And three, the same way, you don't care what they think about you. They don't need to care what you think about them. That's your opinion and that's your opinion based on I don't know an interaction you guys might've had. You could have met someone on their bad day and they acted like a total idiot. So you don't like them anymore, or you just don't like them. You don't like the way they acted and that's fine. That's your opinion of them.

Speaker 1: 1:32

But there are a lot of people out there that will give you their criticism, whether constructive or not. Some people just like to tell you exactly what they think. But you don't have to. That. That doesn't have to mean anything to you. You do not have to take anyone's opinion. You do not have to take the criticism to heart from anyone who you do not admire and respect. So start figuring out those people that you admire and respect, and if you want to take it to heart again, that's up to you. If you admire and respect someone and the feeling is mutual, they would never want to criticize you in a way that isn't constructive. And I say this to my kids all the time. When I tell you something, understand it comes from a place of love. If I'm giving you constructive criticism, because it's always going to be constructive. I'm not just going to say that's shit. I'm going to be like hey, babes, that ain't all that. It's a little bit shit Because and we can make it better by do you know what I'm saying. So if someone's not constructively criticizing you and criticizing doesn't even seem like the right word here but if they're not constructively criticizing you, fuck what they think.

Speaker 1: 2:46

Hi guys, welcome to another episode of the so Flippin' Extra podcast, a platform for me to express, explore and connect and be so flippin' extra. Why, I hear you guys ask Well, babes, that's what brings me joy. So, without further ado, let's get into the duration of this episode and let's see where it takes us. Sometimes I do second guess my language choices because I've got a little bit of a foul tongue, and if you guys come here often, you might hear me say you know, a little f-bomb, a little sh-bomb, even a little see you next Tuesday bomb? Have I ever said see you next Tuesday on here? I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I have. I feel like I have, though, and if I haven't, I am very much monitoring myself because I'm a see you next Tuesday bomb dropper in this biz niche, I have dropped a B bomb, b bomb being the bitch bomb, and this is my platform and it's not a monitored platform. I ain't even getting paid to be here.

Speaker 1: 3:50

I show up every week for the love of talking, the love of hearing the sound of my voice and the love of expressing whatever thoughts have floated into my head. There are some mornings that I wake up and I'm like, as much as I want to do the podcast, I'm tired. I don't even know what I'm talking about. Half the time I jump on here not even knowing what the hell I'm going to talk about, and then I might be like, oh, I saw this thing this week. Sometimes it's just telling you what happened in my week, but I literally am grateful that I'm in the position right now that I can say what the fuck I want, because it's my platform and as much as I do, I do this podcast because I want someone to see it and be like wow, we want her, she's absolutely awesome. Let's I don't know, her podcast is amazing, let's monitor her. And I don't know, let's take her under our wing, be her agent.

Speaker 1: 4:47

Listen, I don't know how this thing works, but I always want to be authentic. I always want to be authentic. This is me. This is the way I like to talk. This is the way I like to express myself. I do know when to tone it down and turn the dial down. I know when to turn it all the way up and be as absolutely extra as I want. I know how to control the energy. I know how to do all of these things. But I definitely want someone to want me for me and the way I am and the way I show up, and just that. She's just raw and real. Sometimes I don don't even feel like I'm as real as I could be, definitely. Probably I'm a little bit monitored in my brain, but that's what I want.

Speaker 1: 5:32

So if I monitor myself too much, I'm not being authentic. If I overthink, oh, I can't say that, because what if? What if this week I've had 81 episodes? But what if the 82nd episode is the one that I don't know Oprah is going to listen to? Because Oprah will be out here listening to people's podcasts and they don't even know? But what if this is the 82nd episode that Oprah is going to listen to? And then she says oh, clutch my pearls.

Speaker 1: 5:59

This girl swears too much. I mean it could, I mean it could actually happen. I'm not that's not me saying it couldn't happen, but I mean, if you've stayed this far, like understand that I did just say I can't turn it down and turn it up, oprah, I'm just saying, but, like I said, the one thing I want to do is be authentic. Say the word now authentic. I want to be authentic and I want people to know that that's her, that what she's like, but she's flipping awesome and she's just a whole vibe and she's just absolutely amazing. So, yeah, that's why I don't over censorize myself and some people might listen to this and be like, oh, she swears too much. I don't.

Speaker 1: 6:38

This isn't a kiddie podcast. If your kids are here, I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I know some people do tell me their kids love watching me online. It's giving influencer. But yeah, I'm not. I didn't say I was for the kids though I know I have them. I didn't say I was for them. My content isn't kiddie geared towards, but when it is, I'll let you guys know, because I do want to do some, some videos where I'm maybe doing sewing tutorials. I mean, in those ones I probably wouldn't swear, but I might drop an innuendo or two, I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 1: 7:18

So one thing oh, there's many things, but one thing we like to really talk about on this podcast is gratitude and being in a state of gratitude and staying in gratitude and finding your way back to gratitude. Because there are definitely times when we fall out of gratitude and that can sometimes be when we're in desperation mode and we're chasing stuff and sometimes, I guess, when you're chasing something, it feels like are you chasing that over there because you're not grateful for what's over here, that whole grass is greener on the other side, type thing. But today I heard such a great post and I love I absolutely love when my friends send me posts and reels that I'm like I am using that in an episode in this week's episode and one of my good friends he sent me a post today and the guy was talking about being grateful and being in gratitude and he said um, I feel like I should play. I feel like I should actually play it for you. I'm gonna play it.

Speaker 2: 8:16

Wishing he had a Honda. Wishing he had a bus stop. Wishing he had a fucking bike. Wishing he had coffee to be on the bus because it's too fucking cold outside. Wishing he was fucking homeless to even walk because he's paralyzed. Wishing he was fucking a parapolizing. So at least, even though his body don't work, his mouth work.

Speaker 1: 8:44

He be praying every motherfucking day, trying to avoid going to hell fire. What he's saying is every step of the way of where we are, we kind of wish we had that next thing. So the person in the Honda wishes they had the Ferrari. The person on the bus wishes they had the Honda. The person on the bike wishes they were on the bus. The person homeless on the street wishes they were on the bus. The person homeless on the street wishes they had the bike.

Speaker 1: 9:08

So we always want that next thing. We always want that next thing and sometimes, when we're chasing that next thing, we're forgetting that what we already have, someone else would love to have that and love to be in our position. That's not saying that we can't wish for more to be in our position. That's not saying that we can't wish for more, but it's just reminding us to be grateful for where you are and be happy where you are, because it could be worse. It could be worse. There's a difference between having to be somewhere and having options to have more or have less. The person who has the car can have the bike as well at the same time, and if they don't want the car anymore, they've had the car experience Now they just want less, maybe because they want to save money somewhere. But the point I'm making is we have to remember that we've wanted to be where we're at and this is a reminder to me all the time when I'm saying, oh man, I wish I had more speaking jobs, I wish I was doing more presenting, I wish I was on more stages. A couple years ago, I wished I could have my first speaking job. A couple years ago, I wished I could present something. Years ago I wished I could present something. A couple years ago. I wished I could get booked by a brand to do a workshop and get paid over a thousand pounds. A couple years ago, I wished I could do content creation for a brand and get paid a big sum amount to do it. And I've done it.

Speaker 1: 10:46

But then, when I got there, I feel like I wasn't grateful because I was like so where's the next one? Well, what I mean? Why haven't I got more? And I had to remember and I'm so grateful for the people that around me that helped me remember you. This is what you wanted, you know, remember, remember when you asked for this, and this is making it is making me emotional, because I wanted it and I and I got it, but I moved the goalpost. I moved the goalpost and didn't realize I moved the goalpost. I was like it's not enough, but it is enough and I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for where I'm at and I'm so grateful for the opportunities that just keep coming to me. I've I ask for more. I do, if you, you guys, know I do the Carnival Angels. I'm with the Carnival Angels and we get bookings to show up at different events wearing costume, and I was like I need more bookings. Lo and behold, I got more bookings this month. I've got four this month. I done one last night, which was really good. I had to drive to Oxfordshire as well. Beep, beep, here comes the keys to my jeep. But I asked for more bookings and more bookings arrived Knock knock on my motherfucking doorstep.

Speaker 1: 12:05

I have to stay in gratitude because that is what keeps me going. For the last what is it? 14 years? That is what has kept me going From when I learned about gratitude. So much made sense to me, just being grateful, and not only for these big wins to happen, but just the smallest things. Thank you for that person that opened the door for me. Thank you for that person that let me on, or moved out the way, which meant that I made my train, I don't know, 10 minutes later, moved out the way which meant that I made my train, I don't know, 10 minutes later. So many things to be grateful for that are small things that we just don't even pay that much attention to. So my mic hasn't been on this whole time. I've only just turned on now, so I'm wearing the mic and I'm kind of like speaking into my mic that I've clipped onto my car, my dressing gown, but it hasn't been on. So if the sound changes, that is why and it is what it is, baby because I'm not re-recording, because I love where we went. I love where we went during this episode.

Speaker 1: 13:06

There's one thing I wanted to leave us on, and that was don't let desperation change your destination. Don't let your desperation for the desire to win change where you want to go. We want to win, we do want to win, but sometimes we're desperate, and I talk about this a lot. Sometimes I get into desperation mode and that's when I feel like I'm really like. I feel like I'm just chasing. I'm chasing and the desperation comes a lot of the time when the bills come and I feel like I need it, I need this. It's giving themed. I need it, I need some money because I've got to do this and I've got to do this and this one needs this and this one needs that. And then the desperation comes and then the plan that I had, the destination that I was going on, that just felt like it was, it was just cool.

Speaker 1: 13:58

I'm now, I'm zigzagging, I'm here here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, because I'm chasing something and I don't know. I don't have the answers to that, guys. I honestly don't have the answers, honestly don't have the answers. But I guess the only thing that feels right in this moment that I'm feeling to say is just stay calm, sit with it, sit with your thoughts and your feelings and go within, sometimes when outside. So I always say, sometimes, when, when outside just feels too hectic and too busy and too discombobulated, go within. That's when it's really important to meditate and get silent and sit down and maybe stay away from other people. Don't talk too much, don't tell too many people how you're feeling. Have your circle or your community or your connections, your type people that you go to and you say, hey, this is how I'm feeling today and the ones that you feel that you get. Not the ones that you get the answers you're looking for from, but the ones that make you feel safe, they make you feel heard and they understand where you're coming from and they give you that constructive criticism not constructive, constructive advice that actually helps you move in the directions that is necessary for you. And do you know what Boom, with that said, that's the end of this episode today?

Speaker 1: 15:32

Peace out A-Town down West side is the best side. Do I believe that Not really. Peace out a time down west side is the best side? Do I believe that not really? Sometimes I don't know. But what I do believe is, wherever I'm at, the vibes are and the vibes here. Every week we bring the vibes, we are the vibes, we are the vibes that we want to see in the world and it just is what it is. I love you guys. Bye.